A Twist of Fate
by unicorn-skydancer08
Summary: Tumnus and Terence travel to many worlds, and meet many charming characters, from all the classic Disney legends. But will they make it back to Narnia, alive and in one piece?
1. Chapter 1: In the Hole

**A TWIST OF FATE**

_The idea for a story like this would not stop nagging me, and so to ease my conscience, I got straight to work. This is where all our beloved Disney characters (or at least a good number of them; I doubt I'd be able to write about __ALL__ of them) come together in one big adventure. You could say it's a little like Kingdom Hearts, with a Wizard of Oz twist. I expect this story to be pretty dang long, but this ought to be great fun! With that said, buckle down, sit back, relax, keep your arms and legs in at all times, and enjoy the ride! _

_

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Characters (with the exception of Terence) © Disney (and their original creators)_

_Tumnus and Narnia © C.S. Lewis and Disney/Walden Media_

_Terence and Story © unicorn-skydancer08_

_**All rights reserved.**_

**

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Chapter 1: In the Hole**

"…And they lived happily ever after," Lucy concluded, and she closed her big storybook with a snap and announced proudly to her friends, "The end!"

"That was an excellent story, Lucy!" said Terence approvingly.

"It was all right," said Tumnus with a casual shrug, "for a fairy tale."

It was a warm and temperate summer afternoon within the land of Narnia, and young Lucy Pevensie—also known as Queen Lucy the Valiant—was out in one of the spacious outer courtyards of Castle Cair Paravel at that time. She was with her two closest friends, Tumnus the faun; and Terence, a handsome, white-haired youth who possessed the heart of a unicorn. All three of them were relaxing in the cool, deep shade of the trees, and Lucy had just done reading to the men a fable from her cherished collection of folk tales and classic stories; the legends within the volume contained many unusual titles and names that neither Terence nor Tumnus were familiar with, but got a pleasure out of listening to.

"And what is wrong with fairy tales, mate?" Terence inquired of the faun.

"Nothing, really," said Tumnus indifferently, as he spread himself flat on his back in the soft grass alongside Terence, and folded his hands behind his head. "Such stories are intriguing enough, and suitable for passing the time. But you do realize, Terence, that they are just stories. You know that Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Peter Pan, Robin Hood, and all those other entities are nothing more than mere legends. We are the ones who are real."

Terence gave his companion a knowing look. "Don't be so sure about that, my friend," the white-haired youth declared. "Things are not always as they seem, you know."

"Wouldn't it be wonderful if we really could meet some of these characters, for real?" said Lucy, gazing down fondly at her book and running her palm lightly over the smooth leather. "Oh, what great adventures we would have!"

"Indeed, yes," Terence agreed vigorously with the girl. "We'd be in for the thrills of a lifetime!"

"As if you don't already get your fair share of thrills here, in Narnia," Tumnus said.

As though the faun had not spoken, Terence said, "I'd love to explore the wonders of the undersea world with the Little Mermaid, and to hunt for treasure with the Seven Dwarfs, and to journey to the heart of the earth with Aladdin in pursuit of the legendary Genie of the Lamp. It'd be splendid to visit the world of Wonderland with Alice, too."

"And to battle pirates with Peter Pan," said Lucy abstractedly, "and especially to fly through the air with Tinker Bell—and all it would take to do that would be faith, trust, and pixie dust."

"That _would _be amazing," Terence conceded, having always dreamed of flying—that he could soar across the heavens like a bird, wild and free, with nothing to hold him or tether him.

Tumnus just shook his head at this, and muttered scornfully to himself, "Stuff and nonsense."

* * *

Later that same day, after Lucy had gone back into the castle with her book, Terence and Tumnus continued to rest in the yard together, for yet a while longer.

Terence found he couldn't stop thinking about all the tales and myths Lucy had read to them, not just in that day alone, but also in the days and weeks past; and the youth couldn't stop fantasizing about the prospect of living such escapades, in real life. "Do you think it'd be possible, mate?" he commented to Tumnus at length, while they lay side by side on their backs and studied the drifting cloud formations overhead. "Could we actually journey to all those charming worlds, and meet all those charming characters? Could it truly be possible?"

"Of course, it couldn't be possible," said Tumnus unalterably, not bothering to meet his friend's eye while he said it. "How could it be? Like I told you before, Terence, they're just stories. The only world they truly exist in is the world of books. And, you know, there is more to life than literature of fairies and pirates and genies and sleeping princesses, and the like."

Tilting his head slightly in Tumnus's direction, Terence regarded the faun with a frown.

"You fauns have no imagination," was all the silver-haired youth said.

Tumnus just shrugged halfheartedly in reply, and closed his eyes, dozing in the soft coolness of the shade. Perhaps he didn't maintain the degree of ingenuity and idealism that Terence did, but the faun prided himself in his level of logic and common sense. At any rate, he was prudent enough to know and understand that life very seldom ran like a fairy tale.

Terence shook his head. He cared very much about Tumnus, really; but sometimes he wished the faun would learn to loosen up a bit.

For a time, the faun and the half-human remained there in ruminative silence.

How much time passed them by, exactly, neither of them knew nor cared much.

But then something very curious came about…something so curious, in fact, that had it not come about in the first place, fate would have taken quite a different turn, for Terence as well as Tumnus. When Terence idly turned his head to look the other direction, he was astonished to discover a white rabbit in the distance, not too dreadfully far from their resting spot. Not just any common white rabbit—but one that walked on its back legs, exactly like a human, and it wore a red waistcoat and gray trousers; and it had a pair of round spectacles perched on the end of its pudgy nose, and carried a pocket watch that was almost as big as its head.

Startled, Terence blinked, but the rabbit turned out to be quite real—as real as he was.

At that time, the White Rabbit was strolling along, whistling a tune to himself, clearly giving mind to none but his own business.

Terence immediately rose to an upright position. "What in the world—?"

"What is it, Terence?" said Tumnus leisurely, without moving from his spot.

Grabbing the faun by his bare shoulder, startling Tumnus into opening his eyes as he did so, Terence pointed out with his free finger and cried, "Look over there, mate!"

"What?" Tumnus queried as he sat up himself. Upon seeing the rabbit, he said nonchalantly, "Oh, Terence, it's only a rabbit." But then noticing the details of the little stranger, the faun's expression of dispassion instantly switched to one of surprise, incredulity, and total and utter bafflement. "With a…coat and a watch?!" he gasped, his eyes widening at the sight.

"Oh, my fur and whiskers!" the White Rabbit exclaimed just then, upon consultation of his watch. "I'm late, I'm late, I'm _late!_" And with that, he took off at full speed, like his tail was on fire.

"I don't believe it!" said Tumnus, nothing short of stunned.

Even Terence had to admit this was most odd. "What could a rabbit possibly be late for?" the young man wondered, to Tumnus as well as himself. Terence was tempted to run into the castle and fetch Lucy, and perhaps a couple of others as well. But he knew he would lose the White Rabbit in that very instant if he did so; and so he simply leaped to his feet and took off after the quirky little fellow himself, before the Rabbit had completely gone from his sight.

"Hey!" Tumnus protested, immediately springing to his own hooves as well and hurrying swiftly after Terence. "Hey, come back, Terence!"

Paying the faun no heed, Terence called after the White Rabbit, "Mister! Mister, wait!"

But the Rabbit only ran faster, waving his watch about frantically in the air, and Terence and Tumnus could hear him chanting distraughtly: "_I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date! No time to say hello—goodbye! I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!_"

For such a short, plump fellow, he was remarkably speedy.

"Wait!" Terence called after him again. "Wait, sir!"

At that same moment, Tumnus hollered to Terence, "Terence, come back! Terence!"

He pursued Terence and the Rabbit all the way across the strip of beach that adjoined the castle, clear down to the wooded area at the far west end, where lush green hills swelled up against the sky; and even then, the Rabbit refused to stop, or slacken his pace in any way. If anything, he simply moved along all the quicker, were such a thing possible.

"Hold on there, mate!" said Terence as he followed him into the dense cluster of trees, with Tumnus trailing in the youth's wake. "Not so fast!"

But the White Rabbit shook his head fretfully and wailed, "_No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm overdue! I'm really in a stew! No time to say goodbye—hello! I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!_"

Whatever the little fellow was late for, Terence figured it had to be something extremely important. Otherwise, he wouldn't make such a fuss. Behind Terence, Tumnus continued to call for the young man; but like their company, Terence kept going.

Ultimately, the rabbit disappeared into a small cave, carved in the side of a small mound.

That was where Terence at long last stopped and stood still, and Tumnus only just barely managed to avoid slamming into him from the rear as he slid to a halt himself. Panting heavily from the exertion of the long run, the faun put a hand on the young man's shoulder and leaned on Terence to rest a minute. "Terence," he gasped, when he had recovered enough breath to speak, "what is the meaning of this? What do you think you're doing?"

"Imagine, Tumnus," Terence informed him, "a white rabbit with a pocket watch, showing up out of the clear blue—wouldn't you want to know where he's headed, what he's up to?"

"No, I wouldn't," said Tumnus, which was only partially true. "It's none of our concern, Terence. Furthermore, it's extremely ill manners to infringe on someone else's private affairs. You know that."

"All the same, mate," Terence countered, "you don't see rabbits wearing waistcoats around here every day. Perhaps this might be a sign."

Tumnus echoed incredulously, "A _sign?_"

"Yeah, an indication of some sort."

"An indication of what?"

Terence shrugged. "Only one way to really find out." And so saying, he broke away from Tumnus and ventured deep into the cave, the darkness swallowing him up in an instant.

Tumnus hesitated only a split second before bolting in after him. "Terence! Wait!"

Inside the cave, it was much too dark to see anything. Tumnus could not even make out his own hand when he held it in front of his face. "Terence!" the faun called as he moved himself along very cautiously, using his hands to feel around him, his voice echoing eerily all about him. "Terence, where are you? Where have you gone? Terence? Ter—_oomph!_" The name was abruptly cut short when Tumnus felt himself collide with something in the pitch blackness.

"Whoa, hey!" Terence's voice cried out. "Watch it!"

Tumnus groped for the man's shoulder, and once he found it, he gave Terence a none too gentle squeeze. "Terence—are you mad?!" he demanded. "We've got to get out of here!"

But, as it was immediately apparent, it was so dark where they were that there was no way of finding the way out, or even knowing which way _was_ out. And there were no sounds to guide them: no trickle or drip of water, no whistle of air, nothing whatsoever.

They were trapped.

"Well, now you've gone and done it, Terence," Tumnus accused sharply, keeping a firm grip on the youth, refusing to let go for so much as a second. "We're stuck! And we're stuck here for Aslan knows how long!"

"Take it easy, Tumnus," said Terence, trying to calm him down. "Of course we'll get out of here. Just hold onto me, and I'll see whether I can feel for an exit."

"Oh, you'd better bet I'll hold onto you," said Tumnus, feeling his way down to Terence's hand and clutching it so fiercely that Terence gasped slightly. "From here on, I'm not letting you away from me for even a single moment!" Tumnus vowed.

Terence then reached out with his other hand and began to walk slowly and carefully, saying, "Since this is where our little friend had gone, there is bound to be an exit somewhere."

"Or," said Tumnus, as they struggled through the stark gloom, "maybe our minds played a trick on us, and he was just a—" Whatever the faun presumed the White Rabbit to be, exactly, he never got around to saying; for Terence had suddenly lost his footing and took an unexpected plunge downward, and Tumnus was brought straight down with him.

The next thing either of them knew, they were falling helplessly together into the depths of what they knew at once to be a deep, vast hole.


	2. Chapter 2: What Goes Down Goes Up

**A TWIST OF FATE**

_After almost two dang months, I have finally succeeded in the completion of the second chapter! It was another typical battle with writer's block, and this particular chapter here was extremely tricky to write down. In order to make sure this remained faithful to the original movie, I had to watch the scene several times over, and I also had to look up the original quotes on the Internet. Please be merciful, people, and take it easy on me; I'm just about ready to drop dead over here! _

_And please, please leave me a review when you're done! _Please!_ I'm starving for feedback! Feedback is what fuels me, as well as these stories. _

_If you do review, I'll be your bestest friend until the end of forever! _

_

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Characters (with the exception of Terence) © Disney (and their original creators)_

_Tumnus and Narnia © C.S. Lewis and Disney/Walden Media_

_Terence and Story © unicorn-skydancer08_

_**All rights reserved.**_

**

* * *

Chapter 2: What Goes Down Goes Up**

At first, screaming was all Tumnus and Terence could do as they plummeted through the air. They expected to meet with their deaths the instant they reached the bottom; but the pit into which they had tumbled only extended on and on and on—it seemed to go on forever.

Then, suddenly and strangely, their momentum slowed. The next thing they knew, they seemed to be almost floating through the air, as if they were nothing more than mere feathers drifting in a light, balmy breeze. "Wha—wha—what happened?" Tumnus gasped, almost speechless from fright and shock. "W-what's going on?"

Terence was just as mystified by this peculiar sensation as the faun was.

"Are…are we dead?" the young man dared to ask.

Tumnus doubted it. If he were dead, his heart wouldn't be throbbing so violently within his chest.

But if this wasn't death, what _was_ it, then?

The sensation continued, and the twosome soon discovered it was no longer quite so dark around them. Terence could now make out Tumnus's white, horrorstruck face more distinctly, as could Tumnus with Terence. And they both saw that they were indeed floating, gliding ever so gently downward.

"What is this?" questioned Tumnus, nothing short of astounded. "What's happening?"

"Your guess is as good as mine, mate," was all Terence could say.

Down, down the two went, slowly and tranquilly, as though they weighed next to nothing. And the further they descended, the lighter it became, until they were in for quite a sight: all around them floated curious objects, such as clocks and bits of furniture, and even a full-length mirror. But what was most curious of all was that just about everything appeared to be upside-down, and they appeared to be gliding upward—or was it the other way around, and Terence and Tumnus were the ones wrong side up?

Here, it was impossible to tell which way was up _or _down!

"Uh, Terence?" said Tumnus, unable to conceal the tremor within his voice as he stared apprehensively at their topsy-turvy surroundings. "I don't have a good feeling about this!"

"Must be a…strange magic of some sort," Terence presumed.

They continued to drift downward—or upward, or whichever—for what must have been ages. Or, it could have been merely seconds. That was another thing about this mysterious place: time seemed to stand still, or at least stretch out longer, like the fathomless pit. Either way, Terence and Tumnus could no more have guessed the number of seconds their fall lasted than they could have numbered the stars in the heavens on a clear summer's night.

At length, Terence spoke up uncertainly, "Suppose we should fall right through the center of the earth…and come out the other end, where people walk upside-down, and all that?"

"Don't be absurd, Terence," Tumnus chided him. "Nobody could ever—"

But before the faun could complete his sentence, he felt his head hit something undoubtedly solid, as did Terence. Both men gave a loud "oomph!"—and then they stopped moving altogether. They felt their bodies involuntarily topple to one side, and they found they now rested upon a hard, flat surface. To their blessed relief, they were on what was unmistakably a floor, and the world around them appeared to have righted itself at last. Though their surroundings were still peculiar—what with the different colored walls, the warped passageway ahead of them, the oddly patterned floor beneath them, and the way almost everything appeared to slant to one side or another—they were just glad they could now distinguish up from down; and also that, despite a wave of dizziness, they were alive and unscathed.

While Terence and Tumnus lay side by side, waiting to recover their strength and their mental equilibrium, they heard a young girl's voice call out from somewhere down the hall. "Mr. Rabbit! Wait, please!"

"Mr. Rabbit?" said Tumnus incredulously, as he sat upright.

"Must be the rabbit _we're_ after," Terence presumed, springing to his feet. "Come on, mate!"

And without even waiting for Tumnus to give an answer, the young man took off down the distorted hall at a mad dash. Tumnus, knowing he had no other choice at this time, stood up and followed. "Would you slow down, Terence?" he hollered impatiently after his companion.

As the two rounded a corner, they almost literally ran into a small girl, who was somewhere around Lucy's age, maybe a little older—ten, eleven, possibly twelve. The girl had long, thick hair that was palest yellow, and she wore a neat little blue dress with a soft white apron, white tights, and black patent shoes. A small black bow rested on top of her head. All three of them shouted out at the sight of one another, and the girl gasped, "Oh! Oh, I beg your pardon."

"Do excuse us, miss," Terence said apologetically at the same time.

"Who are you?" Tumnus asked the girl. "And what are you doing here, in this strange place?" He did not mean to sound inquisitive; but the faun certainly never expected to find an innocent child roaming in a place like this—of all places—let alone some rabbit with spectacles and a watch.

"Well, you see," the girl began to explain, "I'm following a rabbit, and I—"

"Wait, wait a minute," Terence cut her off, "did you say 'rabbit'? As in, a white rabbit?"

"Why, yes!" the girl said, looking and sounding surprised.

"With a waistcoat and a pocket watch, who is in a fret about being late?" Terence queried.

"Yes, that's exactly it!" cried the girl, and now her whole face lit up with excitement.

"Well, what a coincidence—that's just who we're after, ourselves!"

"Excuse me," Tumnus cut in brusquely, "but what do you mean, 'we'? _You're _the one who's after him, Terence. I'm just here to make sure you don't do anything stupid. And, like I said to you before, I'm never letting you out of my sight from here on."

Just then, the sudden slamming of a door made them all jump.

"What was that?" Terence gasped.

"A door just slammed," Tumnus told him, rather sardonically. "That is the extent of my knowledge, mate."

"It must have been _that_ door," said the girl, pointing in one direction.

Sure enough, there was a door right there. When Terence went to open it, he and Tumnus and the girl were all taken aback to see that it revealed another door, except this one was slightly smaller than the first. "Huh?" Terence gasped.

"What the—?" said Tumnus bewilderedly.

Terence promptly jerked the second door aside—only to discover yet another door, one that was even smaller. Then there was another door, and then another, and then another! And so this continued, the doors getting increasingly smaller, until finally there was an opening scarcely big enough for them to fit.

The girl, being the smallest of the lot, was able to slip through with relatively little effort. Terence, having a strong yet slim figure, also managed to squeeze himself in. Tumnus, on the other hand, being a faun with rather big, fur-covered haunches, had a considerably more difficult time. He actually wound up getting himself stuck, and therefore Terence had to tug on the faun to help get him all the way through the gap. At first Tumnus wouldn't budge, but after Terence gave a few good heaves, he succeeded; and the next thing Tumnus knew, he lay spread-eagled on his front on the other side, with the rest of them. "You all right?" Terence asked him, touching him on his bare, fur-lined back with one hand and surveying him with mild concern.

"Sure," Tumnus muttered, glancing up briefly at the young man. "Thanks a lot."

They now found themselves in a vast, uninhabited room, with multicolored walls that soared to impressive heights—walls that never held so much as a single picture. In fact, there was nothing at all in the room whatsoever, save for a tiny curtain at the far end.

"Boy," Terence mused as he stood on his feet, "this place gets curiouser by the minute."

"You can say that again," said Tumnus, climbing to his hooves also and brushing off his front.

"This place gets curiouser by the minute."

Tumnus leveled off his ears, and frowned. "I didn't mean that literally, Terence."

At that time, the girl appeared to suddenly become fully aware of her companions, and her eyes grew especially wide as she regarded Tumnus, with his long leaf-shaped ears and his unclothed torso—his only article of attire was a single scarlet wool scarf that draped casually around his shoulders—and his thick, hairy, stag-like legs. "What?" said Tumnus, when he noticed her intent look. "What are you staring at?"

"If you'll pardon my saying, sir," said the girl, trying her best to sound tactful, "what are you, exactly? I don't believe I've ever seen anyone quite like you before. Or, better yet, any_thing _like you."

Tumnus became slightly flustered at that. "Well, I'm a…well, I'm a faun," he answered her, with a sigh.

"A faun, you say?" The girl sounded intrigued. "Do they really exist?"

"Well, I'm standing right here in front of you, talking to you. Is that sufficient proof for you?" The girl's face flushed warmly, and Tumnus immediately repented of his rudeness. "Forgive me," he said contritely, "I didn't mean it the way it sounded."

In an endeavor to lighten the mood, Terence smiled at the little girl and said genially, "Well, my dear, I don't believe we have been properly introduced to one another, have we?"

"Why, no!" said the girl, immediately brightening up. "And, you know, when strangers meet for the first time, it is only proper for them to introduce themselves, the proper way."

So, Terence bowed gracefully before her at the waist, and said nobly, "Well, then, let me introduce myself, here and now. My name is Terence. And this here is my best mate, Tumnus."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Terence and Tumnus," the girl said, gathering up the hem of her dress and making a lovely curtsy. "My name is Alice."

"Alice?" Tumnus repeated, his ears pricking up at the name. "As in, Alice in Wonderland?"

She looked at him quizzically. "I beg your pardon, sir?"

"Oh…never mind," said Tumnus after a moment, with a sigh.

He doubted he would be able to explain it well enough to her, anyway.

"Forgive my asking," Terence said to Alice, "I don't want to be discourteous—but, where did you come from, Alice? How is it that you've wound up in a peculiar place like this?"

"If I may," said Alice, looking and sounding a bit awkward, "I was just going to ask you the same thing."

Terence hesitated, unsure of how to put this into proper words. "Er…well…to tell you the truth, dear girl," he said, wavering somewhat, "I'm not exactly sure how we've done it myself. We simply stumbled into some sort of hole, while going through a dark cave—and the next thing, here we are."

"I'm not so sure we're even _here_," said Tumnus wryly. "It's like being in a dream—where everything is real, and yet unreal at the same time. Nothing is what it is, because everything is what it isn't. And, contrariwise, what it could be, it wouldn't; and what it couldn't be, it would." He looked toward his mate. "Do you understand what I'm saying here, Terence?"

Terence took a deep breath, and answered simply, "No, I don't."

"Well," said Alice, "I suppose the best we can do is simply keep moving ahead, and go along with whatever comes our way. After all," she added, "you have to go forwards, in order to go back, don't you think?"

"Yes, I suppose you're right," Terence said, and Tumnus made a slight nod of assent.

Terence therefore headed straight for the curtain on the other side of the room. Alice was right behind him, and Tumnus reluctantly followed. When they reached that little curtain, Terence dropped to his knees, while Tumnus crouched down on his haunches, and Terence drew the curtain aside to reveal a tiny door with a big brass knob.

But no sooner had Terence taken hold of the knob than a voice cried out, "_Ouch!_"

Everyone jumped a mile, Alice included, and Terence forthwith jerked his hand away. "Oh, excuse me!" the white-haired youth gasped, almost without thinking.

To his and everyone else's utter amazement, the doorknob spoke right back.

"Oh, that's quite all right. But you did give me quite a turn!"

Tumnus's eyes widened to no less than three times their size as he regarded the doorknob, which indeed spoke as if it were a living person. The faun blinked several times, then rubbed his ears, but they did not fool him.

Terence soon recovered from his surprise, and said to the knob, "Sorry. You see, sir, we were just following…"

"Rather good, what?" the knob interrupted, giving a rich, lively laugh. "Doorknob? Turn?" And he positively cracked up, as if he had just told the best joke in the history of the world.

"Good one, indeed," Tumnus muttered with a roll of his eyes, having heard better quips than that.

"Yes, yes, I get it," said Terence prudently. "Please, sir—"

"Well, one good turn deserves another! What can I do for you?"

"If you don't mind, sir," Terence said, leaning down to his level, "my friends and I are looking for a white rabbit, and we are sure he's been through here just now. So, um, if you wouldn't mind…"

"Huh? Oh!" Understanding the request, the knob obligingly opened his mouth wide—his mouth, which turned out to be the keyhole—and Terence peered through.

"There he is!" he said, after a moment. "I see him!"

"You see the White Rabbit?" Alice cried in delight.

"Sure do!" said Terence triumphantly as he straightened up. "We got him, now!"

"Well, there's no time to waste!" Alice said anxiously. "We simply _must _get through!"

But the doorknob did not agree. "Sorry," he said primly, as Terence made a move to pry him open, "I am afraid you can't do that."

They all stared down at him. "What?" said Tumnus incredulously.

"And why not?" Terence wanted to know.

"Why, you're all much too big!" the knob informed the young man. "Simply impassable."

"You mean, impossible," said Tumnus.

"No, _impassable!_" said the knob, with a chortle. "Nothing is _impossible!_"

Tumnus merely looked at him, unsure of whether or not to take that as an omen.

"Why don't you try the bottle on the table?" the knob now suggested.

"What bottle?" Tumnus queried.

"On what table?" added Terence.

"Oh!" said Alice suddenly. "I think it's this table, right here!" When Tumnus and Terence turned in the girl's direction, they saw that she had just gone over to a small, round table that stood less than a yard from their spot. Surprised, the young men promptly stood and made a beeline to the table themselves. The table, which was indeed real, was made entirely out of glass; and on top of it rested a little bottle, with a tag attached to it.

"How did _that_ happen?" Tumnus wondered aloud.

"That's funny," said Terence perplexedly, "I don't recall seeing this table here before."

Tumnus told him matter-of-factly, "That's because it _wasn't_ here before, mate."

"Read the directions," the doorknob's voice instructed them from below, "and directly you'll be directed in the right direction!" A hearty chuckle punctuated the last few words.

Terence picked up the bottle and studied the inscription on the small tag closely, but all it said was: DRINK ME. "'Drink me'," Terence murmured aloud. "Hmm. Well, that seems a simple enough thing to do." But just as he was lifting the bottle to his lips, Tumnus's hand abruptly snatched it away from him. "Hey!" Terence protested. "What gives, Tumnus?"

"Are you insane?" Tumnus demanded, his eyes narrowed at Terence, holding the bottle out at arm's length as if it might bite. "Who's to say whether or not this stuff may be poison?"

"Poison?" Terence repeated incredulously. It was now his turn to narrow his eyes at Tumnus, and he shook his head reproachfully. "Oh, come on, mate, don't be so superstitious!"

"Well, it _would_ be best to look first," Alice admitted. "For if one drinks much from a bottle marked as poison, it's almost certain to disagree with one, sooner or later."

"Beg your pardon?" said the doorknob quizzically, for the threesome were conversing in hushed tones, and he could scarcely hear a word they were saying.

"We were just giving ourselves some good advice," Alice answered him.

"Give it here," Terence said to Tumnus, thrusting out a hand to take the bottle back.

Tumnus hesitated, and then the faun very reluctantly passed the bottle back to his mate. Surveying the bottle intently once more, Terence remarked, "It's a rather small bottle, really. Hardly enough for one gulp for each of us, I'd say."

"Here, let me try it first," said Alice, and she took the bottle from Terence and took a sip.

"Any good?" Terence asked her, after she swallowed.

"How does it taste?" Tumnus dared to inquire.

Alice smacked her lips thoughtfully. "Tastes like…oh, cherry tart. Or maybe pineapple."

"Let me have a bit of that," said Terence, and he took a small sample himself. After taking his time to savor the flavor and swallow, he frowned, though it was neither an unpleasant nor a disgusted frown, and said, "I don't know, Alice. Tastes more like lemon custard to me."

"Give me that," ordered Tumnus, seizing the bottle from Terence once more. The faun gave the bottle one final look of distrust, before forcing down an infinitesimal sip himself. When he spoke again, he declared, "You're both wrong. This stuff tastes more like roast turkey."

While they were engaged in this conversation, they were hardly aware that their surroundings were growing progressively larger by the second—but then Tumnus realized that the bottle, once smaller than his hand, now filled his arms entirely. "Whoa!" the faun cried, feeling himself lose his balance and topple to the side, onto the floor. "Goodness, me!"

That was the moment Terence and Alice took full notice of what just happened as well. "Hey, is it just me," said Terence apprehensively, "or has the room gotten bigger?"

"Bigger?" Alice repeated, her bright blue eyes wide as saucers. "I think we've shrunk!"

"_Shrunk?!_" exclaimed Tumnus, every last bit of color vanishing instantly from his face, as though somebody had opened a spigot and drained it all away.

The doorknob, meanwhile, burst into gales of laughter. "You three almost went out like a candle!" he said gleefully, like this was the most hilarious thing he'd ever seen in all his life.

"I can't believe this!" Tumnus cried, on the brink of hysteria. "I-I'm, like, three inches high!" Racing to Terence's side and seizing the young man frantically by his shoulders (momentarily catching Terence off-guard as he did so), he rambled on, "Terence, what are we going to do? We can't go around like _this! _Who knows what can happen to us, at this size? _What are we going to do?_"

"Now, now, Tumnus, calm down," said Terence, and he gently pried the faun off him.

"Calm _down? _You expect me to be calm, at a time like this?"

"Well," said Terence slowly, "I must admit, I didn't expect this any more than you did, mate." He offered an encouraging smile. "But hey, look on the positive side!"

"How can there possibly be anything positive about being merely three inches your original height?" Tumnus demanded fiercely. "Huh? You tell me, Terence!"

"Well, for starters, we're now just the right size for the door."

"You're right, Terence!" said Alice joyfully. "We can now fit easily!" And when she strode up to the door, it was evident that she was indeed the ideal height to pass through.

Tumnus snorted. "Oh, yes, that is just splendid," the faun groused. "Perfectly glorious!"

But when Alice stretched out her hand to the knob, he twisted away from her, saying, "Oh—no use!" And then he began to laugh like crazy again.

"Now what's the problem?" Tumnus demanded sharply.

Still laughing, the knob replied jovially, "I forgot to tell you! I'm locked!"

"_What?!?_" Tumnus nearly screamed, his voice so high and shrill that he practically squeaked.

"Oh, _no!_" groaned Alice, and she closed her eyes and covered her face in dismay.

"You're telling us this _now?_" Terence cried, clapping a hand to his forehead at the same time.

"But, of course, you've got the key," said the knob, in his usual unruffled manner, "so—"

"What key?" Terence, Tumnus, and Alice asked at the exact same time.

The knob frowned at them. "Well, now don't tell me you left it up _there!_" He lifted his gaze toward the table, which appeared taller than a tree from this spot, and they simultaneously looked up to see the key right there, through the glass.

Tumnus stood stone-still for only a second, before shutting his eyes tightly and slapping a hand audibly to his face. "Oh, for the love of…" He trailed off, unable to complete the rest of his sentence. At that same time, Terence closed his own eyes and slid his own hand over them, shaking his head from one side to another.

"Oh, dear," said Alice witheringly, plopping down onto the floor. "Whatever will we do?"

The knob said, "Try the box, naturally."

And a box appeared in front of Alice, as though out of thin air. Inside that box was a single cake, with the words "EAT ME" scrawled across the top. "Well, all right," Alice conceded, as she picked up the cake and took a bite out of it. "But goodness knows what _this_ will do."

No sooner had she swallowed the first bite than she suddenly started growing bigger—and bigger, and bigger, and even _bigger_, until she took up nearly the entire room, and Tumnus and Terence were both driven to the outermost wall to avoid getting themselves squashed like a pair of bugs. The doorknob got his own face mashed by one of Alice's enormous shoes.

"Good heavens!" Tumnus gasped, upon sight of Alice, who had to be well over a mile high.

All Terence could do was stand and stare, and Alice was just as shocked by this as they were.

The doorknob tried to say something. But of course, with Alice's shoe pressed up against him and all, the words were hardly distinguishable.

It all sounded like a bunch of mere: "_Whtwhsthswwdthdwd!_"

"What did you say?" Alice asked, lifting her foot away from his face.

"I said, 'A little of that went a long way!' " the knob replied; and, as usual, he cracked up.

Even Terence had to laugh this time. Tumnus, on the contrary, never cracked so much as a smile. Poor Alice, now down to her last nerve, said in a broken voice, "Well, I don't think it's so funny!" Giant tears welled up in her sky-blue eyes, and her enormous shoulders began to heave with raging sobs as she whimpered pitifully, "Now—now I shall n-never get out!"

"Oh, come on, now," Tumnus urged her, "crying won't help."

"I know," she sniffled, as the tears proceeded to spill down her face and cascade to the floor, one after another, "but I—I—I just can't help myself!"

"Whoa, heads up!" Terence shouted urgently, and he and Tumnus hastily scattered like jacks as a bombshell-sized tear exploded near them. Alice only sat there and continued to bawl her eyes out, and her tears fell in one massive, relentless shower. Soon, the tears began to form a pool on the floor, and before Tumnus and Terence knew it, they were up to their ankles in water. And the more Alice wept, the higher the level of water increased.

"The whole place is flooding!" exclaimed Tumnus.

Even the doorknob was now alarmed. "Say, this won't do at all!" he cried. He hollered up to Alice, "You! You, up there—stop! Stop, I say!"

But Alice only covered her face with her hands, and sobbed harder.

It was now impossible for Terence and Tumnus to evade the deluge of tears. One drop scored a direct hit on Tumnus, and another struck Terence squarely in the face a second later. In no time, both men were drenched through and through. Terence's luminous hair and beard now trailed down in dripping strands, and Tumnus's honey-brown curls were plastered down over his face.

Alice just continued to cry bitterly, and it wasn't long before Tumnus and Terence were compelled to swim for their lives. The sea of tears swelled and churned uncontrollably on every side, and wave after wave rolled over them, covering them completely more than once. Terence barely had time to hold his breath before he was driven all the way under the water, out of sight, and it was a good minute or so before he was able to come up for air.

When Tumnus struggled yet again to the surface himself, he wailed desperately to the wailing girl, "Alice, stop, before you drown us!"

"Oh, look!" cried the doorknob, as the little bottle that contained the magic drink glided past on a wave. "The bottle! The bottle—" The last word was promptly drowned out as a wall of water rose up against him and engulfed him entirely.

Alice, still sniffling, managed to retrieve the bottle, and there were still several drops of the special drink left. So the girl forced down those last few tiny drops, and within two seconds, she had shrunk back to her initial height of three inches. She plummeted straight down along with the bottle, and landed neatly inside it in the water.

As the bottle drifted across the somewhat calmer ocean of tears, Tumnus and Terence, half-drowned and soaked clear to the bone, swam up and heaved themselves up into the bottle with her, one after the other. Luckily for them, the bottle was big enough to contain all three of them, and still stay afloat. Terence was coughing like mad, and Tumnus collected several long, gasping breaths, feeling as if he'd never breathed properly before.

"Oh, dear," said Alice abashedly, as she looked at them, as well as the body of water that surrounded them. "I do wish I hadn't cried so much."

"Well, there, now," panted Tumnus, wringing the water from his soaked scarf, "see how crying really does no one any good, Alice?"

To all of this, Terence did nothing except to shove his dripping bangs back from his eyes, sending little droplets scattering as he did so and causing the silvery locks to stand up at rather interesting angles. By now the young man's coughing had abated a great deal, but he was still unable to say anything right away.

Meanwhile, the gargling doorknob opened his mouth wide as the bottle drew near him, thus enabling Terence, Alice, and Tumnus to pass straight through to the other side.


	3. Chapter 3: The Caucus Race

**A TWIST OF FATE**

_Well, thankfully, it hasn't taken me nearly as long to write this chapter as the last one had. And it was loads of fun to write! Only three chapters, and I'm having a ball with this already! I just wish more people would take the time to actually __review__ my stuff after reading it, for pity's sake… _

_

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Characters (with the exception of Terence) © Disney (and their original creators)_

_Tumnus and Narnia © C.S. Lewis and Disney/Walden Media_

_Terence and Story © unicorn-skydancer08_

_**All rights reserved.**_

**

* * *

Chapter 3: The Caucus Race**

Together, reasonably safe (and reasonably dry) inside the empty bottle, Terence and Alice and Tumnus floated aimlessly over the vast, deep water—which seemed to go on forever, in either direction. It was almost impossible to tell which way they were even going, for a thick, swirling fog had amassed around them, and heavy gray clouds blocked out the sky. "Where do you suppose we are headed this time, mate?" Terence asked Tumnus at length.

"I do not think I even want to find out, Terence," the faun answered dryly.

Alice said nothing, but only drew her knees to her chest and silently wrapped her arms about them, letting her chin fall to rest on top of them.

Presently, everyone's ears caught a faint voice singing, and, looking together to one side, their eyes could make out a strange shape in the distance. The shape ultimately turned out to be a bird—and a very large and very peculiar bird at that. His beak seemed almost too big for his face, his head almost too small for the rest of his body…and he was dressed like a sailor; complete with a trim, broad-collared pea jacket, and a three-cornered hat over a powdered wig. He even had a long, smoking pipe sticking jauntily from one side of his beak.

He was perched on the feet of what appeared to be a crow, floating upside-down on its head; and behind, a small blue-green parrot moved them all along by pushing his head against the strange bird's fat rear end and flapping his wings. And as the parrot propelled them across the water, the large bird sang out robustly: "_Oh, the sailor's life is the life for me! How I love to sail on the bounding sea! And I never, never, ever do a thing about the weather, for the weather never, ever does a thing for me!_"

"What in the world kind of a bird is _that?_" said Terence bewilderedly, as he and his companions all stared at their newest arrival together.

"That has got to be the oddest-looking bird I've ever seen in my life," Tumnus said.

Alice said nothing, but her sky-blue eyes widened considerably at the sight.

Just as the eccentric bird was in the middle of the second verse, something caught his eye that made him stop singing altogether. "Ahoy!" he cried, removing his pipe from his beak with one hand and using the other hand to shield his eyes, looking and sounding thoroughly excited, as though he had just spotted a most rare sight indeed. "And other nautical expressions!" To his small sea mate behind him, he commanded, "Land ho, by Jove!"

"Where away, Dodo?" said the little parrot from behind, springing to attention in midair and giving a brief, smart salute with his wing.

"Dodo?" Alice repeated incredulously.

"Three points to starboard!" the so-called "Dodo", if that was what the bird was supposed to be, instructed. And so the parrot switched his position a bit and began steering the little crew along at a slightly different angle; and as they resumed their voyage, the Dodo called out heartily over his shoulder, "Follow me, me hearties! Have you at port in no time at all, now!" And then he started singing all over again: "_Oh, the sailor's life is the life for me—_"

Realizing assistance was suddenly moving away from them, Alice hastily raised herself up and leaned out over the edge of the bottle, waving one arm and crying out frantically, "Oh, Mr. Dodo! Please! Please, help us!" Terence and Tumnus also stood and started calling to the Dodo as well, telling him to wait and come back and give them a hand—but he made no sign of having heard them, and he and his crew soon vanished into the boiling fog, out of sight.

After that, another odd bunch drifted into view: a pelican, a parrot, and a brown owl, all balanced together upon a piece of broken wood.

"Hey!" Tumnus hollered to them. "Hey, we could use a little help here!"

But just like the Dodo, the group of birds simply propelled themselves onward across the sea, never acknowledging Tumnus's voice, or even noticing the sight of the glass bottle floating adrift. "_Hey!_" Tumnus hollered again, more urgently this time; Terence even whistled, as one whistled for a dog, but it was no use.

Then a group of red lobsters swimming in perfect synchronization appeared, and though Alice and Tumnus and Terence called to them for help, they were of no real assistance, either.

Whether these curious characters were deaf, or just plain idiotic, it was hard to be sure.

As the stranded threesome continued vainly to summon aid, the sea was getting significantly rougher by the minute; and a particularly enormous breaker surged directly over them without warning, enveloping them entirely—bottle and all—and garbling their frantic cries. By the time the bottle bobbed back to the surface, now almost completely filled to the brim with water, and by the time Terence and his companions emerged into the crisp salty air, thoroughly soaked and gasping for breath, a new sight greeted their eyes.

Dead ahead, they could spot the Dodo from before perched upon a high rock, next to a small bonfire, and all surrounded by a bed of wet sand. And all around that big rock paraded the birds and the lobsters, in a full and complete and perfect circle, with a group of mackerel and live starfish accompanying them.

Round and round they went, never slowing and never faltering, racing as if life itself depended on it. And as they ran about together, Terence, Tumnus, and Alice could hear them singing, in one voice:

"_Forward, backward,__  
Inward, outward,  
__Come and join the chase!  
Nothing could be drier  
Than a jolly caucus race!_

"_Backward, forward,  
Outward, inward,  
Bottom to the top,  
Never a beginning,  
There can never be a stop—_"

During this, the tide abruptly surged in, and the water swallowed up the entire group completely, so that only the Dodo and his fire remained. Undaunted, the Dodo simply held up his fire by the logs, in order to keep the flames from being doused as the water came quite close to covering the rock itself; and he only kept the lively song going:

"—_to skipping,  
Hopping, tripping,  
Fancy free and gay,  
I started it tomorrow  
And will finish yesterday!_"

When the tide pulled out and the level of water had decreased substantially, the Dodo set the little fire back down and shook his hands slightly to cool them; and the caucus race proved to still be on. Everyone just continued running, as spirited as ever, and chanting vigorously:

"_Round and round  
And round we go,  
And dance forevermore,  
Once we were behind  
But now we find we are be—_

"_Forward, backward,__  
Inward, outward,  
Come and join the chase!  
Nothing could be drier  
Than a jolly caucus race!_"

What they were doing appeared to make absolutely no sense, none whatsoever. But Terence, Alice, and Tumnus knew that if they were going to get to shore, they would have to swim for it. It was their only hope; and, with the prevailing current, they might have a sporting chance. So, Terence was the first to hold his breath and hurl himself overboard, and Tumnus pinched his nose and did the same. Alice was just on the verge of climbing out of the bottle herself when another wave unexpectedly knocked the bottle over, capsizing it so that the girl was knocked completely off her feet, and ended up taking a rather bad spill into the water.

The very next thing Alice knew, she had been washed up onto the wet sand where the caucus race was held, as had Terence and Tumnus. All three of them were soaked and chilled practically to the bone, and they each had seaweed sticking to their clothes and entangled within their hair. There was even a bit of seaweed clinging to Tumnus's damp fur. And they all lay flat upon their fronts in the sand, with everyone else either leaping over them, swerving around them—or stepping right on top of them.

"I say," said the Dodo, now taking official notice of them at last, "you three will never get dry _that_ way!"

"Get _dry?_" said Alice disbelievingly.

"Have to run with the others! First rule of a caucus race, you know!"

Tumnus began to protest, "But how in the world can we—" Just then the tide came rolling in again, engulfing them all in yet another wall of water, and the rest of Tumnus's words were drowned out in an instant.

When the tide had receded once more a minute later, and Terence and Alice and Tumnus had been shoved into line and were moving around the circle with the rest of the lot, the Dodo said genially, "That's better! Have you dry in no time!"

Tumnus coughed and spewed out a bit of saltwater before sputtering, "This is madness!"

Even Terence had to agree. "No one could ever get dry _this_ way," the young man complained.

"Nonsense!" the Dodo countered, as he allowed the fire to warm his oversized rump. "Why, I am as dry as a bone already!"

Tumnus scowled up at him. "Well, yes, but_ that's_ because you're…"

And then the faun's words were once again drowned out as the tide rushed right back in. After the tide ebbed, Alice now found herself riding on top of the crow's head, while Terence found himself straddling the pelican, and Tumnus was having a rather difficult time trying to avoid tripping over the fish and the starfish.

"All right, chaps!" the Dodo went on unperturbedly. "Let's head now! Look lively!"

Tumnus cast a helpless look over his shoulder in Terence's direction, who only shrugged at the faun in reply, with a don't-look-at-me expression on his face.

But during the midst of all this hullabaloo, Alice cried out, "The White Rabbit!"

And Terence and Tumnus saw the tide carry in none other than the White Rabbit himself, who came riding in on an upside-down black umbrella, like a flooded and slightly tattered sailboat. He ultimately came to a rest just outside the ring, and Terence and Tumnus and Alice all attempted to get to him, but instead were forced to continue on with the caucus race. "Mr. Rabbit!" Alice called to him, trying to get his attention. "Mr. Rabbit!"

Paying no heed to the girl, the White Rabbit fished out his slightly wet watch from his vest pocket; and when he saw the time, his long ears shot straight up and he exclaimed fretfully, "Oh, my goodness! I'm late! I'm _late!_" And, snatching up his umbrella (spilling some of the water over his head as he did so), he took off in a snowy flash.

"Oh, don't go away, mate!" Terence shouted after him. "We'll be right there!"

But the White Rabbit kept going, shaking the water from his feet as he made his way to higher ground, moaning all the time, "I'm late, I'm late, I'm late—"

"Come on!" Terence urged his friends.

And, somehow, he and Alice and Tumnus managed to slip away from the rest of the group, and disengage themselves from the ring. "Don't step on the fish!" the Dodo cautioned them as they wove their way. "Watch it there! Stop kicking that mackerel!"

When they were free at long last, Terence hurried on ahead, with Alice behind him; while Tumnus stopped and glanced back one last time at the caucus race. There were a great many things the faun could have said and done at that very moment, but all he did was shake his head in disdain and mutter under his breath, "Oh, you have got to be joking." Then, sweeping his dripping curls back from his eyes, he turned and rushed to catch up with Terence and Alice.


	4. Chapter 4: The Twins and the Tale

**A TWIST OF FATE  
**

_Well, here we go with this story again! This ranks among my all-time favorite scenes in _Alice in Wonderland_. Happy reading, and cupcakes for those who bother to review when they're done with this! _

_

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_

_Characters (with the exception of Terence) © Disney (and their original creators)_

_Tumnus and Narnia © C.S. Lewis and Disney/Walden Media_

_Terence and Story © unicorn-skydancer08_

_**All rights reserved.**_

* * *

**Chapter 4: The Twins and the Tale**

"Mr. Rabbit!" Alice called. "Oh, Mr. Rabbit!"

"Wait up, mate!" Terence shouted, while Tumnus was too busy trying to keep up with his companions and maintain his breath to say anything.

But, as always, the White Rabbit didn't seem to hear. And if he did, he made no sign of it. He led Terence, Alice, and Tumnus away from the yellow shoreline, into a thick copse of strange trees with blue-green leaves and purple-hued trunks. Soon, the sounds of the caucus race at the beach faded into complete silence.

Tumnus went on pursuing Terence and Alice, and Terence and Alice went on pursuing the White Rabbit, until he soon disappeared completely from their sight. When they entered a wide clearing in the wood, the Rabbit was nowhere to be seen. And there were no signs, no indications whatsoever of where the little fellow could have gone.

"Drat, I can't believe we lost him again!" Terence groused, slowing to a stop and placing his hands upon his lean hips.

"But I am _sure _he came this way!" said Alice. The girl looked around doggedly, from here to there. "Do you suppose he could be hiding, Terence?"

Tumnus, who was just about ready to drop, and whose nerves were stretched to the breaking point, strode up to Terence's other side and demanded, "Look, you two—why don't we just forget the whole thing? It's obvious we'll never catch that rabbit. And we're only leading ourselves into further trouble by going after him. I say we quit now, before anything else happens."

Paying the faun no mind, Terence said to Alice, "Let's separate, and look around. He can't have gone far."

Unbeknownst to the three, two pairs of eyes were watching them closely, from the shelter of the shadows and the dense foliage.

Terence and Alice promptly broke up and set off in opposite directions, leaving Tumnus to himself. "Terence!" said Tumnus. "Alice—what do you think you're doing? Get back here!" When his words proved to have fallen upon deaf ears, the thoroughly frustrated faun slapped a hand to his forehead, and he grumbled to himself, "Oh, why do I even bother?"

Alice took a peek behind one of the bushes, and announced, "Not here."

"Not here," Terence echoed a second later, after exploring one of the trees from every side.

Tumnus merely stood where he was, his hand now fully over his face, and jadedly shook his head. Had the faun bothered to look up, and had Terence and Alice bothered to turn around, they would have seen two strange, entirely identical figures emerging from the trees, and simultaneously following them about the clearing.

While Terence continued to probe the trees, Alice crouched down in front of a hollow log, just big enough for a small girl like herself to crawl through, and murmured, "I wonder…"

Tentatively, she slipped into the log on her hands and knees, and momentarily disappeared from sight. The twin figures who'd been secretly dogging her and Terence saw what she was doing; and, still keeping totally silent, they concurrently leaped atop that very log and danced their way across to the other end, so that when Alice came back out again, she came out between their legs. Alice slowly climbed back to her feet and brushed off her knees, and said with a sigh, "No, I suppose he must have—"

Then, turning around, the girl gasped and jumped a mile at the sight of the two strangers standing there, who made no movement whatsoever—but remained as still as a pair of statues.

When Terence heard Alice gasp, he immediately whirled around, and Tumnus finally looked up from his hand, his eyes wide and his ears pricked up. "Alice," Terence began anxiously, "are you all—"

But then the youth's words died instantly on his lips, upon sight of the two doppelgangers.

Everyone froze, and waited a full minute or so.

When nothing happened, Terence very cautiously moved in closer, as did Tumnus. The two young men gathered on either side of Alice, and Alice marveled, "Why—what peculiar little figures!"

"Well, now, _this _is quite a sight," Terence mused.

Tumnus stared disbelievingly at the mute figures, whose similarities were immaculate. It was as though a giant mirror were reflecting one, or the other. They maintained the same height and the same width; they had the same button noses, the same impeccable clothing—even the shoes on their feet and the tiny caps they wore on their heads matched. In fact, the only way Tumnus could truly tell them apart was by looking closely at the names sewn onto their stiff white collars. "'Tweedle Dee'," the faun read on one collar, "and 'Tweedle Dum'."

"If you think we're waxworks, you ought to pay, y'know!" the one labeled "Dum" spoke just then, giving Tumnus quite a start.

"Contrariwise," piped up his twin, "if you think we're alive, you ought to speak to us!"

Had Tumnus's eyes been any larger, they would have popped right out of his head, and Terence and Alice were at once surprised and delighted to find that these quirky people could indeed talk, after all. The odd pair therefore spent the next minute performing a little impromptu dance for their company, on the spot, honking and hooting repeatedly like a set of horns, before standing still again and announcing together, "That's logic!"

"Is that so?" said Terence.

"Well, it's been nice meeting you," said Alice very cordially. "Goodbye!"

She turned to leave, as did Tumnus, but the twins promptly cut in front of them.

"You're beginning backwards!" Dee informed them.

"Aye," squeaked Dum. "The first thing in a visit is to say—"

And they took turns seizing Terence, Tumnus, and Alice by their hands and dancing about with them in circles, singing:

"_How do you do,  
And shake hands,  
Shake hands, shake hands,  
How do you do,  
And shake hands,  
And state your name and business!_"

When the dancing and the singing ceased, and Alice toppled to the ground due to her own dizziness, the twins proclaimed unanimously, "That's manners!"

"You got a point there, mates," Terence conceded, pulling thoughtfully on his long white beard. "Well, then, allow us to do so, here and now. My name is Terence, and this is Tumnus."

"Pardon me," Tumnus cut his mate off brusquely, "but I'm more than capable of introducing myself, thanks."

"And my name is Alice," said Alice, picking herself up off the ground and shaking her skirt to straighten it.

"As to our business," Terence said, "we're currently in pursuit of a white rabbit, so we'll just—"

But the twins impetuously blocked the white-haired man as he was turning away, just as they had done before.

"You can't go yet!" Dee informed him.

"No, the visit has just started!" said Dum, and he moved concomitantly with his lookalike ahead of Terence when the white-haired youth attempted to move around them.

"I'm very sorry," said Terence, "but we—"

Without even giving him a chance to complete his sentence, the twins bolted off into the wood.

"Do you like to play hide-and-seek?" Dum asked, as what appeared to be a whole bunch of Dums and Dees peeked out from behind the trees.

Tumnus just shook his head, and muttered under his breath, "Persistent bunch." He turned away again, only to discover the twins impeding him once more. Tumnus wondered to himself how in the world these two could manage to move so quickly. It was like they were here one second, and there the next.

"Or, 'Button, Button, Who's Got the Button'?" queried Dee.

"No, thank you," said Alice, trying to be as civil as she could.

"If you stay long enough, we might have a battle!" the twins went on, and they took turns bopping one another on the head with their fists.

Rather than hurting each other, they just went on making a bunch of the same horn-like sounds.

"That's very thoughtful of you," said Terence, now forcing his way through the twosome. "But, really, my friends and I should get going."

"Why?" the twins asked together, springing in front of him yet again.

"We already told you," said Tumnus, who was starting to lose patience. "We're following a white rabbit." The faun paused briefly, before adding on, "Well, at any rate, _these_ two are."

"Why?" inquired the twins.

"Well," said Terence, after a moment's hesitation, "because we're curious to know where he's going."

This time, the twins didn't bother to go after Terence and Alice and Tumnus as they set off once more.

"Ohhhh…they're curious!" Dum said to Dee, in a hushed voice.

The twins simultaneously shook their heads and tsk-tsked, and Dee leaned toward his double and said, in a not-so-hushed voice, "The oysters were curious too, weren't they?"

"Aye," agreed Dum, "and you remember what happened to them."

Hearing this, Terence paused and glanced back at them, as did Alice, and even Tumnus.

The twins removed their caps, revealing matching bald crowns, and said together in tearful tones, "Poor things!"

While they sniffled and wrapped their arms around one another's shoulders, Terence tentatively headed back to them, with Alice and Tumnus behind him.

"If I may," Terence said slowly, "what's this about oysters?"

"And, uh, what exactly _did_ happen to them?" Tumnus inquired.

"Oh, you wouldn't be interested," said Dum and Dee, now speaking nonchalantly, and walking away together, side by side.

"But we _are _interested," Alice protested.

"Oh, no, you're in much too much of a hurry!"

"Well," said Tumnus slowly, hoping to distract Terence and Alice from their pursuit of the White Rabbit, "perhaps we could spare at least a little bit of time…"

"You could?!" the twins cried, perking up immediately. "_Well!_"

And before Tumnus could do anything else, before Terence or Alice had a chance to react in any way, the twins ushered them to a nearby log and forced them all to sit down, with Alice in the middle. Terence found himself on the girl's right, while Tumnus was stationed on her left.

Both the twins stood directly before them, as though performing on stage in front of a live audience, and Dee announced in a loud, clear voice, "'The Walrus and the Carpenter'!"

"Or," Dum chimed in, "'The Story of the Curious Oysters'!"

Thus, they began.

Terence, Alice, and Tumnus watched as Dum and Dee danced and honked from left to right, and right to left, then remained in place and hopped directly up and down like a pair of frogs, one after the other. It all appeared remarkably well-rehearsed. And as Terence, Alice, and Tumnus sat there and looked on, the twins broke out into song:

_"The sun was shining on the sea,  
Shining with all his might,  
He did his very best  
To make the billows smooth and bright.  
And this was odd,  
Because it was the middle of the night!" _

"What? How could it possibly be the middle of the day, _and_ the middle of the night, at the same time?" Tumnus wondered bewilderedly. "I mean, that's entirely impossible!"

Terence's only response to this was to lift a finger to his lips, and hiss at the faun, "Shhh!"

Undeterred, the twins continued with their nonsensical doggerel:

_"The walrus and the carpenter  
Were walking close at hand.  
The beach was white from side to side,  
But much too full of sand! _

_"'Mr. Walrus,' said the carpenter,__  
'My brain begins to perk.__  
We'll sweep this clear__  
In half a year,  
If you don't mind the work.' _

_"'Work?! The time has come,' the walrus said,  
'To talk of other things.  
Of shoes and ships and sealing wax,  
And cabbages and kings. _

_"'And why the sea is boiling hot,  
And whether pigs have wings  
Callooh, callay  
No work today!  
We're cabbages and kings!'"_

None of this made the least bit of sense to Tumnus, but Terence and Alice appeared to enjoy it thoroughly. Alice actually leaned in closer to the twins, while Terence casually sat back and crossed one leg over the other. Tumnus took one look at them and the twins, before closing his eyes and dropping his face into his hands.

Now Dum and Dee sang about how the walrus in the story stepped into the sea, and spoke enticingly to a whole cluster of young oysters napping upon the ocean floor:

_"'Oh, oysters, come and walk with us,  
The day is warm and bright.  
A pleasant walk,  
A pleasant talk  
Would be a sheer delight!'  
('Yes, and should we get hungry on the way,  
We'll stop and have a bite!')_

_"But Mother Oyster winked her eye,  
And shook her heavy head.  
She knew, too well, this was no time  
To leave her oyster bed.  
'The sea is nice,  
Take my advice,  
And stay right here,' Mum said." _

Yet the walrus, who wasn't the type to take no for an answer, simply disregarded the mother oyster, and went on enthralling her little ones, who were beginning to develop a great interest in him:

_"'The time has come, my little friends,  
To talk of other things.  
Of shoes, and ships, and sealing wax,  
Cabbages and kings, _

_"'And why the sea is boiling hot,  
And whether pigs have wings  
Callooh, callay  
Come run away  
With the cabbages and kings!'"_

And so, the walrus succeeded in luring the young oysters out of the safety of the sea, onto dry land.

Little did those poor, foolish oysters realize just what sort of trouble they were getting themselves into:

_"'__Well, now, let me see,  
Ah, a loaf of bread is what we chiefly need!__'_  
_('How about some pepper and salt and vinegar, eh?')  
__'__Oh, yes, yes, splendid idea! Very good, indeed!  
Now, if you're ready, oysters dear,  
We can begin the feed!'  
('Feed?!?!?')_

_"'Oh, yes, well—  
The time has come, my little friends,  
To talk of food and things!' _

_"'Of peppercorn, some mustard seed,  
And other seasonings,  
We'll mix them all together  
In a sauce that's fit for kings!_

_"'Callooh, callay,  
We'll eat today  
Like cabbages and kings!' _

_"'I, er, I weep for you, I—  
(Oh, excuse me)  
I deeply sympathize.  
For I've enjoyed your company,  
Oh, much more than you realize.' _

_"'Little oysters? Little oysters?'  
But answer, there came none.  
And this was scarcely odd,  
Because they'd been eaten—every one!"_

The twins then rounded the whole tale off with a final: "_We're cabbages and kings!_" And together, they stood parallel of each other, and honked, "The end!"

"That was a very sad story," said Alice wistfully.

"Very tragic, indeed," Terence agreed softly, shaking his head very sorrowfully. "The poor little things."

"Aye," said Dum gravely. "And there's a moral to this story, y'know."

"Oh, yes," Tumnus concurred, "and a very good moral at that. Especially if you so happen to be an oyster."

Rising to his hooves and jauntily flinging one loose end of his scarlet scarf over his shoulder, the faun continued, "Well, it has been a lovely visit, so we'll be on our way—"

"Another recitation!" said the twins, pushing him back down onto his seat.

"_Another_ one?" Tumnus cried in dismay.

"Look, we're very sorry," said Terence, "but…"

"It's titled 'Father William'!" announced Dum.

Alice broke in, "But, really, we…"

"First verse!"

Once more, the twins launched into their theatrical mode:

_"'You are old, Father William,' the young man said,  
'And your hair has become very white.  
And yet you incessantly stand on your head,  
Do you think at your age it is right, is right,  
Do you think at your age it is right?'" _

"Come on, let's get out of here," Tumnus whispered to the others. The faun didn't think he could stand to listen to Dum and Dee for one more minute.

"Right behind you, mate!" Terence whispered back.

While Dum and Dee were caught up in their little act, Tumnus very quietly and discreetly shifted his position, and eased off the log from the other side. Terence and Alice did likewise.

The twins' lively mantra followed after them as they slipped away together, into the thick of the forest:

_"'Well, in me youth,' Father William replied to his son,  
__'__I'd do it again and again and again  
And I'd done it again and again and again…'"_


	5. Chapter 5: A Lizard With a Ladder

**A TWIST OF FATE**

_Here it is, the next chapter! This chapter really makes me feel good; it feels wonderful to write something funny and light-hearted after the gloom of the past few weeks. When you're feeling down, laughter is the best remedy in the world. From the original movie, this is the scene that I probably get the biggest thrill out of watching. _

_Cookies for the nice reviewers! *waves cookies around invitingly*_

_

* * *

Characters (with the exception of Terence) © Disney (and their original creators)_

_Tumnus and Narnia © C.S. Lewis and Disney/Walden Media_

_Terence and Story © unicorn-skydancer08_

_**All rights reserved.**_

**

* * *

Chapter 5: A Lizard With a Ladder**

"I'm telling you, Terence," Tumnus complained to his mate, as the two young men wove their way through the labyrinth of strange trees, with Alice hurrying along in their wake, "you and I have landed ourselves in a world of complete, downright lunatics. I mean, everywhere we turn, it's always one oddball after another—"

Here, Terence stopped abruptly, and Tumnus, who had no warning, ended up slamming into the white-haired youth from the rear. Less than a minute later, Alice plowed into Tumnus.

"Hey!" Tumnus protested. "What gives?"

Terence, whose eyes were fixed straight ahead, said, "Look there, mate!"

Peering around either side of Terence, Tumnus and Alice could see the trees thinning out ahead, and up a little further, alongside a winding dirt path, there stood a quaint little cottage with a straw roof. "Oh, how lovely!" Alice cried, her eyes brightening at the sight. "Look at that—it's just like a little doll's house!"

"With straw on the roof?" said Tumnus incredulously.

"Sure," Terence told him. "Many roofs on many houses are built like that, Tumnus. They're called patched roofs, I believe—"

"You mean, 'thatched', Terence," Alice gently corrected. "They take a bunch of thick straw and bundle it together, then put it on top of the house to keep out the rain and wind."

Tumnus just shook his head at this, obviously wondering who in their right mind would build their home in such a manner.

"I wonder who lives here," said Terence, as he continued to survey the little hut.

"How in the world should I know?" Tumnus retorted.

"Let's go and see!" said Alice, and without waiting for either Tumnus or Terence to voice their opinion, the girl quickly darted ahead.

"Alice, wait!" said Tumnus, as he and Terence simultaneously took off after her.

As the threesome neared the front gate, a strangely familiar voice sounded from inside the house. "Mary Ann! Oh, drat that girl—where did she put them?" Then the double shutters at the top of the house flew open, and the White Rabbit that Terence, Alice, and Tumnus had been seeking all this time stuck out his head and called loudly into the broad open, "Mary _Ann!_"

"Hey!" said Terence, surprised and elated. "It's the Rabbit!"

"Then this must be where he lives!" added Alice excitedly.

"Mary Ann!" the Rabbit kept hollering, while Terence and Alice let themselves in through the gate, with Tumnus reluctantly following. Then the little furry fellow disappeared from the window, and just as Terence was reaching to open the front door, the door abruptly flew open and the Rabbit himself came rushing out. Tumnus instinctively leaped to the side.

"No use, can't wait," the Rabbit was grumbling to himself as he darted outside, "I'm awfully late! Oh, me, oh, my, oh, me, oh, my…"

This time, Terence and Tumnus and Alice could see that their little friend was garbed in a strange new outfit, with a wide ruff that encircled his neck and a broad white covering that went over his front and back, and with a large pink heart vividly emblazoned on either side of the covering. Beyond that, they saw that he now carried a shiny brass trumpet with him.

"Excuse us, sir," Tumnus called to the Rabbit as he sprinted past them.

"Excuse us!" Terence echoed loudly, when the Rabbit simply kept moving ahead, as if they weren't even there.

"Excuse us, please!" Alice chimed in.

But, as always, the Rabbit only continued to go his own way.

Seeing there was no other way to get his attention, Terence gave a half-growl, then jammed two of his own fingers between his teeth and whistled out two long, sharp notes. Tumnus, standing right next to Terence, and having extremely sensitive ears, immediately cringed and clapped both hands over his goatlike ears.

And for the very first time, the White Rabbit stopped, and turned around to face them properly.

"Well, it's about time!" Terence said.

"We are very sorry to disturb you, sir," said Alice politely to the Rabbit, "but we have been trying to…"

"Why, Mary Ann!" said the White Rabbit abruptly, making a prompt beeline to the girl and scowling up at her through his round spectacles. "What are you doing out _here?_"

"Mary Ann?" Alice repeated bewilderedly.

"Mary Ann?" Terence and Tumnus said together, giving him the same bewildered looks.

"Don't just do something, you three," the White Rabbit ordered them, "stand there!" He spoke in gibberish for a short time, before finally directing Terence, Tumnus, and Alice to the door and telling them peevishly, "Go, go—go, get my gloves! I'm late!" To emphasize the last bit, he brandished his oversized watch, and waved it around in their faces.

"But late for _what?_" Terence demanded, getting quite irritated himself. "That is just what we have been trying to find out this whole—"

"My gloves!" the White Rabbit all but shouted, and he now blasted his horn at them, right in their faces, making all three of them yell out and startling them into stumbling through the front door. Tumnus tripped on his way over the threshold, and very nearly capsized a table, while Terence staggered into the wooden banister of a stairway that led up to the next floor. Alice ended up slamming against Terence's side. "At once!" the White Rabbit's voice shrilled to them from outside. "Do you hear?"

"Okay, _okay,_" Terence muttered testily, glaring over his shoulder at the door. The young man added under his breath, "Mr. Bossy."

"Next, I suppose I'll be taking orders from Dinah," mused Alice, as she moved past Terence and began to head upstairs.

Tumnus just twisted his finger in his ear, amazed that he hadn't gone permanently deaf.

He and Terence followed Alice up the stairs, which led them to a small, well-furnished bedroom. As this was the house to a rabbit, and just about everything was quite low and squat, Terence had to duck down to avoid banging his head on the doorframe as he entered the room. Tumnus, unfortunately, wasn't nearly as aware of this as he should have been. Therefore, the faun ended up receiving quite a blow to his forehead. "_Ouch!_" he cried out, staggering back a few steps when he bumped himself.

Terence stopped at once and looked back. "You okay, Tumnus?" he asked mildly, when he saw the faun come in with a hand over his forehead, this time taking care to duck.

"Dratted door!" was all Tumnus said, rubbing his forehead with an unpleasant scowl on his face.

Once all three of them were inside, Alice looked slowly about the room. "Now, let me see," she said contemplatively. "If I were a rabbit, where would I keep my gloves?"

"We'd better split up, and search the place," said Terence. To Tumnus, he instructed, "While I check the closet there, mate, you look in that chest over there by the window."

Tumnus immediately shook his head at this.

"Oh, no you don't, Terence," said the faun. "I would much prefer to do it the other way around."

Terence just shrugged. "Okay," the youth said compliantly, "have it your way. While you look in that chest over there by the window, I'll check the closet there."

Then he set off to investigate the closet.

"There, now," said Tumnus, with satisfaction, "that's more like it—_hey!_"

"What about me?" Alice questioned. "Where can I look?"

Terence paused only long enough to tell her, "Check the bureau there, Alice."

So, Alice went to the bureau, and proceeded to inspect the drawers, one by one. Tumnus resignedly dropped to his knees in front of the chest to which Terence had assigned him and opened it cautiously, while Terence raked through the contents of the closet on the other side of the room.

For the first few minutes, no one said anything, all thoughts centered on locating the missing gloves. When Alice had gone through her last drawer, she then noticed a small silver container on top of the bureau. When she lifted the lid, she found an assortment of fresh cookies inside, in various colors and shapes, all of them bearing the words "EAT ME" or "TAKE ONE".

"Oh…thank you," Alice mumbled, sneaking a cookie, a nice little heart-shaped one with white and bright pink frosting, and popping it into her mouth. "Don't mind if I do."

Terence and Tumnus, having both their backs facing Alice at that time, did not realize what the girl had just done.

While he continued to kneel on the floor and paw through the chest, Tumnus just asked, "Did you say something, Alice?" He did not bother to look up.

"Is everything okay?" Terence added, without turning his head.

"Oh, yes," said Alice casually, "fine, thank you."

She now moved to another one of the chests and proceeded to dig through its contents, humming a quiet little tune to herself.

Suddenly, she realized the room was getting considerably smaller—either that, or she was getting bigger, just as she had once done before.

"Oh, no," she cried, when it dawned on her what was happening, "no…not _again!_"

When Terence and Tumnus heard this, and when they looked over their shoulders and saw Alice, they both shouted out at the same time in surprise and alarm, and Tumnus leaped straightaway to his feet. When Alice's size only continued to increase, the two young men did the only thing they could do, which was break for the door.

They barely managed to make it in time, for it was not long at all before Alice filled up the entire room, from wall to wall. All of the furniture, including the bed, was pushed into one great disorderly pile, and poor Alice was soon compelled to stick both her arms out the windows.

Tumnus shut the door the second both he and Terence were out of there, but he knew the door wouldn't hold for long, for it strained against its hinges, on the verge of breaking free.

Meanwhile, outside, the White Rabbit was waiting impatiently for them, his big foot tapping incessantly against the ground.

When he looked at his watch, for what must have been at least the ten-thousandth time, he gave a squeal and hurried swiftly into the house himself, exclaiming, "Mary Ann!"

But no sooner was he inside than Terence came pelting down the stairs and rushed right past him, very nearly knocking the Rabbit flat in his haste.

"Heads up!" the young man hollered as he bolted clear out of the house.

Two seconds later, with a wild clatter of hooves, Tumnus also brushed past the White Rabbit and followed Terence, crying, "It's every man for himself!" The White Rabbit watched the men leave, then he scowled and raced up the stairs himself, just as fast as he could, taking three steps at a time.

He was really quite put out, and as he flung the door aside, he began to scold, "Now, you see here, Mary Ann—"

But his lecture was cut short when Alice's giant foot burst through the opening and shoved him, along with some of the furniture from the bedroom, clear down the stairs. Now his anger and irritation switched to downright terror, and as he was thrust down the stairs and propelled all the way out the front door, he wailed out, "_Hel-l-lp!_"

The next thing the Rabbit knew, he lay buried in a massive pile of broken furniture, both from his bedroom and his main parlor, on his front lawn.

When he crawled out of the jumble and saw the state of his house, with the window panes shattered and the straw roof askew, and with Alice's arms and legs showing quite plainly on either side of the structure, he completely panicked and exclaimed, "No, _no_—help! _Monster!_" Without delay, he leaped over his fence and took off down the dirt path into the thick of the wood, screaming, "Help—assistance!" He bugled an urgent call on his trumpet as he ran. Within a few minutes, he was gone.

Terence and Tumnus, who had been cowering together behind the stone hedge, dared to arise and look at the house themselves, or what was left of it. Alice had ceased to grow by that time, thankfully; but as her enormous figure took up the entire hut, she was quite stuck. "Oh, boy," Terence said in a low voice, "here we go again."

"Alice!" Tumnus called anxiously to the girl. "Are you okay?"

Alice tried to pull herself up, but due to the secure foundation of the hut, she couldn't budge an inch.

There was no way for her to get out, and no way for anyone else to get in.

After failing to free herself several times, upon realizing she was truly in a fix now, Alice gave up and groaned, "Oh, _dear!_"

"Now, that's what I call getting yourself into a tight spot," Terence remarked, trying not to laugh, but unable to help himself.

"Very funny, Terence," said Tumnus sternly, leveling off his ears at him.

"Terence?" Alice's voice called from within the house. "Tumnus? Is that you out there?"

"Yes, Alice, we're here," Terence called back.

"What happened, Alice?" Tumnus asked. "What did you do this time?"

"Never mind that," said Alice, too embarrassed to admit what she'd done. "Just get me out of here!"

"Don't worry, sweetie, we'll save you," Terence reassured her. In his mind, he added, _I think. _

The young man turned to Tumnus, and asked softly, "Got any ideas, mate?"

"None, whatsoever," Tumnus answered flatly. "What about you?"

Terence shook his head. "Nothing that would be considered very safe, or very practical." He sighed, and brushed his fingers through his luminous white hair as he regarded Alice in her pitiful condition.

They had to do something; they couldn't just leave the girl there, like that…

Within a short time, however, they heard the White Rabbit's voice in the distance.

He was apparently coming back—and this time he wasn't alone.

"A monster!" he was babbling. "A monster, Dodo! In my house, Dodo!"

"Dodo?" Terence and Tumnus said at once.

"Dodo?" Alice echoed inquisitively from inside, when she heard the Rabbit for herself.

Sure enough, there was the same Dodo they had met before, the one who'd directed the caucus race, heading their way with the White Rabbit frantically leading him along. The White Rabbit was beside himself; as he led the Dodo down the path, he could hardly keep still. "Oh, my poor little bitty house!" he wailed.

"Steady, old chap," the Dodo reassured him, "can't be as bad as all that."

"Where did _he _come from?" Tumnus murmured to Terence, indicating the Dodo. "I thought he was at the beach, the last time we saw him."

Terence only shrugged.

"Oh, my poor roof and rafters," the White Rabbit agonized, "all my walls, and…_there it is!_" he cried when they finally reached the gate.

When the Dodo turned his head and saw the Rabbit's house for himself, he gave such a great start that he nearly dropped his pipe he was currently smoking, and his jaunty little sailor's hat almost went flying. But then, unlike the Rabbit, his face broke out into a broad smile, and he exclaimed, as if he were chancing upon a remarkable discovery, "By Jove! Jolly well is, isn't it?"

As Alice couldn't very well see what was going on outside, she had to open the double shutters at the front of the house so she could see more properly. All Tumnus and Terence could see of the girl's face were her bright blue eyes, which were almost as big as the shutters themselves.

"Well, do something, Dodo!" the Rabbit urged, pushing the Dodo toward the house, then hastily backing away himself, evidently too terrified to get too close to the wreckage.

As the Dodo surveyed the current state of affairs, puffing occasionally on his pipe, he murmured thoughtfully, "Yes, indeed. Extraordinary situation."

At one point, he lifted his walking stick and rapped it against one of Alice's enormous black shoes.

"But…" he began.

"But—but—but _what?_" cried the Rabbit, on the brink of a nervous breakdown.

Taking out a handkerchief from his pocket and using it to blow his beak, making a funny sound that very much resembled "_whonk!_", the Dodo announced, "But I have a very simple solution!"

"Thank Aslan for _that,_" Tumnus sighed.

"Thank goodness!" Alice said at the same time, in great relief.

Stepping into the scene for the first time, Terence said, "Well, then, Mr. Dodo, what exactly did you have in mind?"

The Dodo blew his beak a second time, before tucking away his handkerchief and pointing up with his walking stick, saying, "Simply pull it out the chimney!"

"The _chimney?_" Tumnus repeated disbelievingly.

Terence blinked, unsure of whether he'd heard right. "I—I beg your pardon, sir?"

But the Rabbit seemed to accept this crazy idea, for he readily pushed against the Dodo from behind and exhorted him, "Well, go on, go on! Go pull it out!"

"Who, _me?_" said the Dodo, staring at the little fellow as if _he_ had just lost his marbles. "Don't be ridiculous! What we need is a…" Here he stopped, and took a moment to think.

The moment didn't last long, for the sound of someone whistling soon met their ears. Tumnus looked at Terence, but the youth's lips remained sealed. Then they all realized somebody was coming down the path. Looking simultaneously over their shoulders, they saw a large green lizard walking by, on his back legs, in the manner of a human. He was dressed in black trousers and a black jacket over a deep green sweater, and a jaunty black cap covered his head; and he was carrying a long ladder over his shoulder and whistling cheerfully.

"A lizard with a ladder!" the Dodo said decidedly, when he saw him.

"Oh, Bill!" the White Rabbit called anxiously to the lizard. "Bill!"

Hearing his name, the lizard promptly stopped, and his whistling ceased. He swept his cap from his head in greeting, waving it at them all in a quite friendly way.

"A lizard with a ladder?" said Terence bewilderedly, lifting an eyebrow in a question mark. "Now, _that's _certainly something you don't see every day."

Tumnus just shook his head and asked the heavens, "What will they think of next?"

The White Rabbit seized the lizard named Bill by his green hand and pulled him into the yard, saying fretfully, "We need a ladder with a lizard…I mean, a lazzerd with a liddard…I mean…" Once again, he spluttered nonsense, until he finally managed to say properly, "Can you help us?"

"At your service, governor!" Bill replied cheerily, speaking with a thick accent.

"Pleased to meet you, Bill—" Terence started to say, but they never got the chance to get properly acquainted, for the Dodo scooped the lizard close to him and walked with him to the house.

"Bill, my lad," said the Dodo conversationally, "have you ever been down a chimney?"

Bill grinned, and proudly threw his head back. "Why, governor, I've been down more chimneys than—"

"Excellent, excellent!" the Dodo cut him off.

Tumnus closed his eyes and slapped a hand to his forehead, thinking wearily, _I'm surrounded by madness…_

"You just pop down the chimney," the Dodo continued, "and haul that monster out of there."

From inside the house, Alice looked curiously at the little chimney that lay on one side of her; while from outside, Terence looked up at the narrow flue, trying to imagine how they would possibly get someone as big as Alice through there. Bill readily set up his ladder against the side of the house and began to make his way up, saying, "Right-o, governor!"

But then, about halfway up, he froze and exclaimed, "_Monster?!_" When he glanced in through the open windows and saw Alice's eyes staring back at him, he gave quite a shriek of downright horror. At once he switched directions, and was down the ladder in a flash. He started to run for his life, but the Rabbit and the Dodo caught him by his tail and steered him the other way. His legs moving almost automatically, Bill was halfway up the ladder again before he realized where he was going. Of course, he didn't hesitate to make an about-face.

This time, however, the Dodo caught him before he could reach the bottom. The next thing anyone knew, the Dodo was heading up the ladder himself, cradling Bill in his arms like a child.

"Steady, now," said the Dodo unperturbedly, as he cradled his terrified companion, "that's better."

As they made way for the roof together, the Dodo informed Bill, "Bill, lad, you're passing up a golden opportunity!"

"I am?" said Bill. This perked his interest.

"You can be famous!"

Now a genuine smile broke out over Bill's olive face. "I can?"

"Of course! There's a brave lad." When they finally reached the roof, the Dodo led Bill to the chimney stack and told him, "In you go, now!" But Bill's fear quickly returned, and he struggled against the Dodo as he was forced into the chute. "Nothing to it, old boy!" said the Dodo, giving him a push. "Simply tie your tail around the monster's neck, and drag it out!"

From below, Tumnus and Terence stood where they were and watched, both of them too astonished to speak.

"But—but—but, governor—" Bill started to sputter.

But the Dodo only seized his hand and shook it heartily, and his final words were, "Good luck, Bill!"

And with that, he gave the lizard one great shove to propel him down the chimney.

Perhaps he had used a little too much thrust; for though Bill made it successfully to the bottom, an enormous cloud of soot filled the entire hut, getting into Alice's eyes and nose.

As a result, the girl found her nose twitching uncontrollably, and her breathing emerged in a gusty, "Ah…a-ah…ah…_aa-ahh_…"

The Dodo immediately moved away, and ended up falling back with Bill's ladder. He landed safely on top of the White Rabbit, but Alice continued to huff and puff. The whole house heaved and jerked dangerously with her convulsions. Knowing what was coming, Terence shouted out urgently, "_Take cover!_"

Everyone promptly heeded the young man's advice, including Tumnus.

No sooner had they found a place to hide than—

"AHHH-_CHOO!_"

Alice let loose with an almighty sneeze. The tremendous force caused a soot-covered Bill to shoot straight out of the chimney, like a rocket.

When everyone felt it was safe to come out of hiding, Terence lifted a hand to his forehead to shield his eyes as he watched Bill go higher and higher, as did Tumnus.

Together, they all watched in stunned silence as the unfortunate lizard sailed clear up into the clouds, out of sight.

"Well," the Dodo remarked, after a long moment, "there goes Bill."

"Poor Bill," said Alice sadly.

"Poor mate," Terence added on, shaking his head.

"Now what are we going to do?" Tumnus dared to ask.

By now, the Dodo's pipe had gone completely out. As the Dodo struck a match against the sole of Alice's shoe to light it afresh, he suggested, "Perhaps we should try a more…energetic remedy."

"Yes, anything," said the Rabbit, "_anything_—but hurry!" He fished out his watch at the last bit and pointed frantically to the time it presented.

The Dodo proceeded to bring the flickering match to his pipe. "Now," he murmured, "I propose that we…er…that we…"

Here he paused, and thought hard for a bit, his pipe not quite lit yet, but his hand still resolutely holding the match.

"Well?" Tumnus prompted.

"Yes?" the White Rabbit chimed in, nodding uneasily. "Go on, go on! Yes? _Yes?_"

"I propose that we—" the Dodo began to say again, but by that time his match had burned all the way down to his fingers. He gave a sharp yell of pain and surprise, and jumped a mile.

"Are you all right?" Terence asked him.

The Dodo looked at his finger, which had been burnt rather badly—but rather than get angry or distressed, his whole face positively lit up.

"By Jove," he cried triumphantly, "that's it!"

"What's it, sir?" questioned Tumnus.

"We'll burn the house down!"

"Yes!" the White Rabbit heartily agreed. "Burn the house—WHAT?!?!" he now shrieked to high heaven, his eyes popping at the realization of the words.

"_What?!_" Terence and Tumnus echoed together, every bit as shocked.

"Oh, _no!_" gasped Alice from inside, waving her arms about wildly.

"Hi-ho!" the Dodo chortled, as he proceeded to gather up some of the junk that littered the yard, mostly items that were made of wood, and pile it all together at the base of the house.

While he went about his task, he sang:

"_Oh, we'll smoke the blighter out,__  
We'll put the beast to rout!  
Some kindling, just a stick or two,  
All this bit of rubbish ought to do!_"

"Oh, dear!" the White Rabbit moaned, as he helplessly watched the Dodo smash his prized grandfather clock into pieces.

Undaunted, the Dodo continued merrily:

"_We'll smoke the blighter out!  
We'll smoke the monster out!_"

"Now, wait just a minute, sir—" Tumnus began indignantly.

"What do you think you're doing?!" Terence cried, but the Dodo paid neither the faun nor the white-haired man any heed, and only sidestepped them when they attempted to block his way.

"No, no! Not my beautiful birdhouse!" the White Rabbit squealed, when the Dodo went for his birdhouse and began to wrench it free from its roost. The birds that had gathered in that little birdhouse all quickly scattered. The White Rabbit made a frantic rush at the Dodo; but the Dodo was too quick, and the Rabbit missed him and ended up ramming headfirst into his front gate. The Dodo snapped the palisade in two over his knee, and added the broken pieces to the pile, singing on:

"_We'll roast the blighter's toes,  
We'll toast the bounder's nose!  
Just fetch that gate, we'll make it clear  
That monsters aren't welcome here!_"

Terence and Tumnus both continued to try to stop the Dodo from what he was doing, but he eluded them easily every time; every time they spoke to him, they might as well have spoken to the wind. The Rabbit, meanwhile, unwittingly brought his broken gate over when the Dodo asked for it, mumbling faintly, "Oh, dear…oh, me…oh, my…"

"A match!" the Dodo said at one point, holding out an expectant hand to the Rabbit.

"Match?"

The Rabbit instinctively reached into his back pocket and pulled out a single matchstick. The Dodo snatched it from him and struck it on his front to ignite it, saying, "Thank you!"

The Dodo therefore flung the lit match into the pile of wood, with some of the straw from the roof added for extra kindling, and finished the last bit of his song:

"_Without a single doubt,  
We'll smoke the monster out!_"

"_We'll smoke the monster out!_" the White Rabbit sang along.

Then it dawned on him again just what was happening, and he put his paws over his eyes and wailed, "_No-o-o!_ No—my poor house and furniture!"

Already, Terence and Tumnus and Alice could see a thin plume of smoke beginning to rise.

"Oh, dear," said Alice, "this is serious!"

"This is not going to end well, mate," Terence said to Tumnus.

"Terence, we've got to do something!" Tumnus murmured back, seizing his companion roughly by the elbow.

Since the Dodo was of no real help, the young men would have to come up with a way to save Alice themselves. They looked all around the yard anxiously, knowing there wasn't any time to lose. Ultimately, Terence discovered a patch of vegetables growing not too far from them. "Hey, look," he pointed out to Tumnus, "a garden!"

"Terence, now is not the time to be thinking about _food!_" Tumnus snapped.

But Terence headed for the patch anyway, and he called out in a loud voice, "Alice! Hey, Alice, over here!" He whistled to get the girl's attention.

Alice looked out through one of the side windows at him, and she cried out, "Oh! A garden!"

She promptly extended an enormous hand, saying hopefully, "Perhaps if I ate something, it will make me grow smaller!"

But the Rabbit, noticing what was going on, swiftly lunged out at them.

Just as Alice was in the process of extracting a fresh carrot from the garden, the White Rabbit stopped her, and shoved his precious carrot back into the ground. He bent over it, as if to guard it with his own life, so Alice simply pulled the Rabbit up by the back of his garment; when the Rabbit grabbed onto the carrot to save himself, the carrot came right up with him. Terence and Tumnus simultaneously ducked as the Rabbit was lifted over their heads, and when Alice held the rabbit up to her face, he screamed, "Let go! _Help!_"

"I'm sorry," Alice told him apologetically, "but I must eat _something!_"

"Not me," he said fiercely, waving the carrot at her like a sword, "you—you—you barbarian!"

Alice, not wishing to stir up any more trouble than necessary, took one quick, enormous bite of the tiny carrot. The Rabbit was so startled that he automatically jerked his paw back, and due to his baggy sleeves, he thought for one alarming moment that Alice had just nipped off his hand as well. Then, just as Alice had hoped, she immediately began to shrink.

She dropped the Rabbit right away, inside the house, and he screamed once again as he fell freely through the air, "Help, monster!_ Help!_"

As Alice continued to get smaller by the second, and there began to be more open space in the bedroom, the White Rabbit darted out the door, tripping over Alice's foot in his haste as it retracted, tumbling all the way down the stairs, four at a time. When he hit the bottom and caught his watch just before it could break on the landing, he took yet another glance at it and squeaked, "_Ah_—I'm _late!_" Without another minute to spare, no longer caring about anyone or anything else, he leaped straightaway to his feet and was out of the house like greased lightning.

"Oh, dear, I'm here," he burbled, "I should be there! I'm late, I'm late, _I'm late_…"

The Dodo, at that time, was on his knees, trying to get the fire going.

When the fire proved to be more difficult to start than he'd thought, the Dodo called to the Rabbit as he dashed by, "I say, do you have a match?"

But the Rabbit only stopped long enough to shake his hand, and say distractedly, "Must go! Goodbye, hello!" And he was off, with his usual mantra of "I'm late, I'm late".

"Wait," Terence called, "where are you going?"

But the Rabbit was already pelting down the path, heading for whatever he was headed for, never stopping or looking back again.

By then, a minuscule Alice had emerged from the house. She cried after the Rabbit in a tiny voice that could scarcely be heard, "Wait! Please, wait!"

"Ah, young lady!" said the Dodo, leaning toward the diminutive girl as she struggled to make her way down the front step. "Do _you _have a match?"

"No," she told him apologetically, "I-I'm sorry, but…Mr. Rabbit!" And she hurried away, after the Rabbit, without further ado.

When Terence and Tumnus saw the size of their young friend now, Tumnus picked out another one of the carrots from the ground and stared at it, saying incredulously, "What kind of a garden is this, anyhow?" Contrary to his cautious nature, the faun nibbled off the outermost tip of the carrot, then Terence took the rest from his mate and took a bite himself.

That proved to be a mistake.

For, no sooner had they swallowed their first bite, than _they _began to shrink themselves! Before any of them knew it, they were just as small as Alice was, hardly any bigger than a pair of caterpillars. (It was a good thing they'd had the sense to not eat the whole carrot, or else there would not have been much of them left.)

"Oh, no!" Tumnus groaned, when he realized what he'd just done.

"Not again!" moaned Terence.

"You two, there!" the Dodo summoned them. "Either of you have a match on you?"

"No," Tumnus answered, shaking his head as he turned away, "sorry, sir."

Terence said, "It's been nice meeting you, sir, but we've gotta run!" The two therefore hastened to catch up with Alice, before they could lose both her and the White Rabbit completely.

The Dodo harrumphed. "No cooperation! No cooperation, at all!"

He sulked for a short time, before finally reaching resignedly for two pieces of dry wood, and rubbing them rapidly together, trying to make enough friction to start a fire.

As he worked away doggedly at his task, he grumbled to himself, "We can't have monsters about. Jolly well have to carry on alone!"


	6. Chapter 6: The Golden Afternoon

**A TWIST OF FATE**

_Wowser, this is the quickest update on this story since…well, since ever!_

_Sorry if I seem to copy the action and dialogue from the original movie too much. Basically, I'm re-telling the story in my own individual style, and I'm adding a few tweaks here and there. Overall, I'm writing how it would be if Tumnus and Terence were thrown into the picture. But maybe my story is a tad too similar to the movie._

_Well, it will improve as the story progresses. I'll try, anyway. Once again, reviews are expected, and appreciated!_

_

* * *

Characters (with the exception of Terence) © Disney (and their original creators)_

_Tumnus and Narnia © C.S. Lewis and Disney/Walden Media_

_Terence and Story © unicorn-skydancer08_

_**All rights reserved.**_

**

* * *

Chapter 6: The Golden Afternoon**

Alice followed the White Rabbit to a wide patch of flowers, and due to her tiny size, she was lost in no time in a thick, twisted jungle of plant life. "Wait!" she cried after the Rabbit—even though her voice was much too soft and small for the Rabbit to hear. Even if he had heard, he wouldn't have stopped anyway. "Please—just a minute!"

When the girl was finally forced to stop in the end, due to the density of the flower forest, she groaned to herself, "Oh, _dear!_ I'll never catch him while I'm this small!"

"Alice!" Terence's frantic voice called in the distance.

"Alice, where are you?" Tumnus's voice followed.

Realizing she had forgotten all about her friends, Alice quickly turned the other way and started to hurry back. She hadn't gone very many steps before Terence appeared right in front of her! They ended up colliding with each other, and Alice stumbled back and nearly fell over. "Oh, Terence!" she gasped, when she looked up again and recognized the young man.

"Oh, Alice, are you okay?" Terence asked solicitously, reaching out for her and running his large hands lightly along her forearms, as if to make sure she was still made of flesh and blood.

"I'm fine," she said.

A minute later, a panting Tumnus made his presence known as well, struggling through a tangled web of vinelike shoots.

"Terence…Alice…_there _you are!" he gasped.

"Hey, mate," Terence said, "it's about time you showed up!"

"You just couldn't wait up for me, could you?" Tumnus said testily, brushing his tawny curls back from his forehead.

Terence and Alice weren't exactly sure how to respond to that, so they just said together, "Sorry."

Looking around them, Tumnus demanded, "Well, _now_ what are we supposed to do? It'll take forever to get out of this place, at our size."

Before anyone could say a word to this, or try to think of a solution to their problem, a large flock of butterflies flitted past them just then.

However, unlike the butterflies they were familiar with, these creatures' wings were shaped like big slices of bread, each side coated with what looked very much like fresh golden butter. And when they stood on an overhanging leaf, folded their wings, and positioned themselves close together, they resembled a fine loaf of bread fresh from the oven.

This caught everyone's interest, including Tumnus's. "Oh, my!" said Alice, her eyes widening.

"What curious butterflies," Tumnus marveled.

"You mean, bread-and-butterflies," an unfamiliar voice chimed in.

"Oh, yes, of course," said Tumnus, without really thinking, "I—" But then he stopped and looked about bewilderedly, wondering who it was that had just spoken to him.

Terence and Alice were every bit as perplexed as the faun, and they glanced around the area as well. But all they saw were flowers—and more flowers, and more flowers, and even _more_ flowers. There were flowers everywhere, of every imaginable kind, from roses, to pansies, to daisies, to mums.

"Now, who do you suppose…?" Tumnus murmured.

"Hello?" Terence called out tentatively. "Is anyone there?"

No one said anything, but a small insect-like creature soon came darting up to them.

It looked like a minute horse, with wings; when it hovered in front of Terence, Alice, and Tumnus, it swayed continuously back and forth, on what appeared to be a set of rockers. The unusual yet oddly endearing little thing let out a tiny whinny, and Alice cried joyfully, "Ah, a horse fly!" Then, she hastily corrected herself, "I mean—a _rocking _horse fly!"

"Naturally," said the same strange voice from before.

The voice seemed to come from above them, and they all promptly raised their heads, with Terence beginning to say, "I _do _beg your pardon, but, did you just—"

But when they looked up, all they saw was a rose hovering over them, a big, beautiful red rose.

"Oh," said Tumnus dismissively, "it's only a rose."

"You don't suppose, Tumnus," said Terence slowly, "that it was this rose here—"

"That's nonsense, Terence," the faun said, knowing very well what his mate was thinking. "Flowers can't talk!"

But then, to their utmost surprise, the rose began to _move_. It leaned down slowly toward them, and they could make out a woman's face in the crimson petals.

"But of course we can talk, my dear," she said to Tumnus, speaking softly and very sweetly.

"If there is anyone worth talking to," a persnickety voice piped up from behind.

"Or about!" a third voice trilled, and Tumnus and Terence and Alice looked simultaneously over their shoulders to find a giggling white daisy there, accompanied by a prim purple iris.

Tumnus's jaw dropped in disbelief, while Terence's face broke out into a smile.

"Well, what do you know?" said the white-haired youth. "Flowers that can actually talk, just like people!"

"And we sing, too!" chorused a group of little colorful pansies.

"You do?" said Alice, sounding delighted.

"Oh, really?" said Terence interestedly, cocking an eyebrow. "Speaking _and _singing flowers, eh?"

"Oh, yes!" gabbed a fast-talking tulip. "Would you like to hear 'Tell It to the Tulips'?"

"No, let's sing about us!" interjected a set of indignant larkspurs.

"We know one about the shy little violets," peeped up a small violet that hid within the shade.

"Oh, no, not _that _old thing!" said one of the lilies, with apparent disgust.

"Let's do 'Lovely Lily At the Valley'!" a second lily insisted.

Soon, all the flowers were caught up in a big argument about what song to sing for their three guests, about what their guests would like, and what they wouldn't like.

Terence, Tumnus, and Alice just stood by and looked from flower to flower as they listened to them quarrel, until finally the one Red Rose got everyone's attention by rapping her little rosebud baton, and saying loudly, "Girls, girls!" When things finally quieted down, the Rose declared, "We shall sing 'Golden Afternoon'!"

She leaned in toward Alice and the two young men, and informed them, "That's about _all_ of us."

Tumnus looked witheringly toward Terence. "Oh, Terence…do we really have to?"

"Why not?" asked Terence, with a shrug. "It couldn't hurt to watch, and listen, Tumnus. It is the polite thing to do, after all." He added with a grin, "Besides, it's a show free of charge!"

So saying, he settled down next to Alice, who had already taken a seat on a low leaf and spread out the skirt of her dress. The white-haired man leaned back comfortably and crossed one leg stylishly over the other. Tumnus watched for just a moment before sighing, shaking his head, and reluctantly plopping himself next to his companion.

Once all three of them were seated, the Rose began her conducting. "Sound your 'A', Lily!"

"_Laaaaaa!_" trilled one of the lilies, in a high, clear note.

One by one, all of the flowers proceed to warm up their vocal chords, with a lot of "mimi"s and "lala"s and "bum-bum-bum-bum"s.

Once they were good and ready, they started their song, with the Red Rose leading them:

"_Little bread-and-butterflies kiss the tulips,  
And the sun is like a toy balloon  
There are get-up-in-the-morning glories  
In the golden afternoon!_

"_There are dizzy daffodils on the hillside  
Strings of violets are all in tune  
Tiger lilies love the dandy-lions  
In the golden afternoon!  
The golden afternoon!_"

While the flowers sang, Alice absently waved her own hands to and fro to the tempo, and Terence drummed his fingers rhythmically against his raised knee.

Even Tumnus had to secretly admit the song _was_ rather catchy, and that for a bunch of flowers, their singing wasn't half-bad.

The flowers sang on:

"_There are dog and caterpillars  
And a copper centipede  
Where the lazy daisies  
Love the very peaceful life they lead…_

"_You can learn a lot of things from the flowers,  
For, especially in the month of June,  
There's a wealth of happiness and romance  
All in the golden afternoon!_"

Only one voice alone sang the words to that last bit. When Terence, Alice, and Tumnus looked around for the source of that voice, they saw that it belonged to the most gorgeous white rose they had ever seen. The sparkling dewdrops that adorned her and the strands of spiderwebs surrounding her made her appear even more stunning. Terence felt his heart melt into a puddle at the sight of her. Seeing the lovestruck look upon his friend's face, Tumnus scowled and gave the man a none-too-friendly nudge in the ribs to snap him out of it.

Terence could only offer the faun a weak, sheepish smile, as he gently massaged his bruised ribs.

Ultimately, the bread-and-butterflies approached them, and some began pulling on Alice's hair and dress, while others pushed against the girl from behind. Tumnus tried to shoo them off, but then Terence stopped him, whispering, "Hold on a second, mate." It took Tumnus a moment to realize the bread-and-butterflies were not trying to attack Alice, but were instead ushering her toward the flowers. They intended for the girl to actually join the group.

Sure enough, the flowers welcomed Alice with open leaves, and Alice was brought to stand with the pansies, who immediately crowded around her.

"_All in the golden afternoon  
The golden afternoon—_"

Now the Red Rose in charge of this whole ensemble aimed her rosebud baton at Alice. Everyone else instantly fell silent, allowing Alice to take over.

Alice was nervous at first, but when she looked at Terence and Tumnus, and Terence nodded encouragingly and gave her a wink, she smiled and bravely sang, in a high-pitched warble:

"_You can learn a lot of things from the flowers,  
For, especially in the month of June,  
There's a wealth of happiness and romance  
All_—"

Suddenly her voice gave a horrible crack, as she'd hit a note that was slightly too high for her. In embarrassment, she immediately covered her mouth.

But the Red Rose only smiled kindly at her, and the flowers all helped her finish the lyric:

"_All in the golden afternoon!_"

When it was all over, Terence applauded enthusiastically and whistled, while Tumnus just clapped enough to be polite.

Alice clapped her own hands as well in sheer delight, and gushed to the Red Rose, "Oh, that was _lovely!_"

"Oh, yes," said Terence, as he stood and moved up to join them, "most splendid, indeed! For plants, you certainly know how to put on a good performance!"

"Thank you, my dears," the Red Rose told both him and Alice graciously.

"What kind of garden do you three come from?" the first Daisy they'd encountered asked them, as Tumnus went to stand next to Terence.

"Oh, we don't come from any garden," said Terence good-naturedly.

The Daisy gasped at that, and said to the high-and-mighty Iris from before, "Oh! Do you suppose these are _wild_flowers?"

"Oh, no," said Alice, trying to repress a giggle, "we're not wildflowers!"

The Red Rose asked them gently, "Just what specie, or shall we say, genus, are you, my dears?"

Alice paused briefly to think, before she answered, "Well, I suppose you could call me a…genus…humanus…Alice!"

"And," said Terence, "you could call me a humanus Terence."

"Well, I, for one," said Tumnus coolly, "am perfectly content to be simply referred to as a plain, simple Tumnus."

"Ever seen an Alice with a blossom like that?" the Daisy giggled, pointing at Alice with her leaves.

"Come to think of it," said the Iris haughtily, "did you ever see an Alice? Or, for that matter, a Terence, or a Tumnus?"

Now Tumnus, Terence, and Alice found themselves being poked and probed and scrutinized from every side, with the flowers pulling rather irreverently at their hair and clothing, while the flowers passed their remarks to one another. "Did you notice her petals?" the Daisy asked, indicating Alice's dress. "What a peculiar color!"

The Iris held up one end of Tumnus's red muffler and sniffed at it, and said disdainfully, "And no fragrance on this one! He appears rather on the scrawny side, too."

"Now, stop that!" Tumnus commanded, jerking himself free and stepping back.

"Just look at this one's stems!" laughed the Daisy, when she lifted the hem of Terence's frock and examined his long, slender legs.

Now Terence was getting annoyed, like Tumnus. He narrowed his eyes and backed away himself, saying, "Hey, _excuse _me, madam!"

"Let _go!_" Alice protested, when she felt the flowers seize hold of her dress and raise it up too high for her liking.

"Get off me!" Tumnus ordered, and he swatted away a set of leaves that were playing with his curly hair.

At last, the faun blurted out, "This is ridiculous! I am _not _a flower! I'm not a flower of _any_ kind!"

"A-_ha!_" crowed the Iris. "Just as I suspected!" She leaned over to the Red Rose, as if to share a secret with her alone, but all within the group could clearly hear every word she was saying:

"This one, here, happens to be nothing more than a common _mobile vulgaris_."

"Oh, _no!_" the rest of the flowers wailed in dismay, upon hearing that last bit.

"A common _what?_" said Tumnus incredulously, knitting his brows and quirking his ears.

The Iris bent down to his level, and informed him, "To put it bluntly—a weed!"

"What?!" Tumnus now flattened his ears at her in indignation. He put his hands defiantly upon his hips, and declared, "Why, I am _not _a weed!"

The flowers didn't seem convinced.

"Well, you wouldn't expect him to admit it!" said one of the tulips.

"Can you _imagine?!_" one of the lilacs babbled to her other fellow lilacs.

"Well, _goodness!_"

Then pandemonium filled the garden, as the flowers all began shoving Tumnus along, while at the same time trying to stay clear of him.

"Don't let him stay here, and go to seed!"

"Go on, now; off with you!"

"Don't touch me!"

"Please, girls!" said the Red Rose, but no one was listening.

When Tumnus stumbled at one point and fell among the pansies, they simply shoved him away, chorusing in disgust, "We don't want weeds in _our _bed!"

And when Terence and Alice protested, the flowers only drove the white-haired man and the girl from their plot as well, clearly taking them for weeds, as well. "Move along, move along!" was their constant refrain. The tiger lilies and dandelions growled and hissed at them, and pawed furiously at them with their claw-like leaves and appendages.

When Tumnus, Terence, and Alice had been steered clear to the other side of the garden, Tumnus looked back at the flowers once, his face burning red. "Well, all _right_, then," he snapped at them, "if_ that's_ the way it's going to be! So help me, if I were my right size right now, I could very easily pick each and every one of you, straight out of the ground!"

"And that would serve you right, too!" Terence said heatedly.

Just as the angry, hurt, and humiliated threesome were about to go their own way, two of the daffodils emptied an entire leaf full of water on them, drenching them thoroughly and creating a small flood that quite literally swept them off their feet. The faun, the girl, and the white-haired man all cried out as one in surprise as they felt the unexpected cascade of water upon them, and as they were all carried away together by the current. They glided a short distance, and when the flood began to recede and they were able to stand again, dripping wet, they could hear the flowers laughing behind them. "_Well!_" Tumnus fumed, shaking the water from the fur on his legs. "I have _never _been so humiliated, in all my life!"

"'You can learn a lot of things, from the flowers'," Alice murmured disdainfully, as she wrung out the skirt of her dress. "_Hmmph!_"

Terence swept back his own wet hair from his face, and added on sullenly, "Seems to me _those_ pretentious plants could learn a thing or two, mainly concerned with manners."


	7. Chapter 7: The Procacious Caterpillar

**A TWIST OF FATE**

_Gosh, I never expected to update this thing again so quickly! I'm nearly half-done with the Wonderland adventure already! I guess this is one of those strokes of luck for me as a writer. _

_This story, of course, is far from finished! I'll just be adding to it more and more, as the ideas come. Eventually it'll have to come to an end, of course, but I have a feeling this will end up becoming my biggest story ever, second only to my original novel. If you have any suggestions for who I can include in this, don't hesitate to tell me! And I look forward to your lovely reviews! _

_

* * *

Characters (with the exception of Terence) © Disney (and their original creators)_

_Tumnus and Narnia © C.S. Lewis and Disney/Walden Media_

_Terence and Story © unicorn-skydancer08_

_**All rights reserved.**_

**

* * *

Chapter 7: The Procacious Caterpillar**

After Tumnus, Terence, and Alice had a chance to dry off somewhat from their little shower, they sat around for a time, wondering what to do next.

Presently, Terence could smell something in the air. It smelled very much like smoke. When Terence looked up, he could see peculiar clouds drifting above them—clouds that were in different colors, and shaped like letters of the alphabet. "What on earth…?" the youth murmured, knitting his brows in bewilderment.

Tumnus and Alice could detect the strange smoky smell, too. When they lifted their heads and saw the unusual clouds themselves, Tumnus demanded sharply, "_Now_ what's up?"

Terence rose slowly to his feet and stood very still, listening intently. His sharp, sensitive ears heard something in the distance; it sounded like someone singing, or chanting. It was too faint for Terence to be really sure. Without a word, the white-haired man began to head off in the direction of the sound.

Alice promptly went after him, and Tumnus had no choice but to follow, too. The trio pushed their way through an endless maze of towering grass blades and mushrooms, the singing growing louder and more distinct the further they ventured. Finally, Terence pushed two dew-moist blades aside, and Tumnus and Alice moved in closer to him to peer over each of his shoulders. Looking dead ahead, another peculiar sight greeted their eyes, possibly the most peculiar sight they had seen yet: a large blue caterpillar was perched on a mushroom, singing to himself while smoking idly on a hookah, and the clouds he breathed out emerged in the shapes of the letters he was reciting—

"_Aaaaaaaaaaa…eeee, I, ohh, yooooouuuu…aaaaa, eeeee, I, oh, yooooou…aaaa, eeee, I, oh, yooooooooooooouuuuuuuu…_"

He paused, only long enough to pull in another draft, before continuing:

"_Oooohhhhh…you, eee, I, oh, aaaa…you, eeeee, I, aaaaaaaaaa…aaa, eee, I, oh, yooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuu…_"

By the time he reached the end of his little mantra, Terence, Alice, and Tumnus had gone up to him, and now stood by the mushroom upon which he rested, watching him intently.

At first, the Caterpillar paid them no heed. But when he finally turned his head and faced them properly, he took a deep breath, and demanded, "Who…are…you?" He placed heavy enunciation upon every word, perhaps more than was entirely necessary. The three colored clouds he blew in their faces came in the form of the letters O, R, and U.

Neither Terence, Alice, nor Tumnus were quite sure how to respond to such a question.

"Why…we hardly know, sir," said Terence distractedly, as he eyeballed the smoky letters. "We've come such a long way, and underwent so many changes since this morning, you see, and…"

"I do not _see_," the Caterpillar coolly replied, puffing out a cloud of smoke shaped like the letter C. "Explain yourselves."

Tumnus shook his head. "I'm afraid we_ can't_ explain ourselves, sir," said the faun, "because we're _not_ ourselves, you know."

The Caterpillar turned his back on the faun, and countered, "I do _not _know." This time, the thin wisp of smoke that escaped his lips writhed and twisted itself into a "knot" in midair.

Tumnus leveled off his ears in irritation. "Well, I can't put it anymore clearly, sir, for it isn't clear to _me!_"

"_You?_" drawled the Caterpillar, turning back to him once more. "Who…_are_…you?"

Tumnus managed to elude the first few puffs that were blown in his direction, but the last one got right in his face.

As a result, he ended up coughing and retching from the rather foul stench, and his eyes ended up springing a leak. Between coughs, the faun gasped, "Well—don't you think—sir—it would be better—for you—to tell _us_—" Here, he found himself coughing too hard to speak. Terence obligingly gave his mate a few good thumps on the back. When Tumnus settled down and found his voice again, he glanced up at the Caterpillar again with red, streaming eyes, and exhaled a small O himself as he finished his question: "—_who _you are, first?"

"Why?" asked the Caterpillar haughtily, now breathing out the letter Y.

With a great, jaded sigh, Tumnus only sank back onto his haunches, and dropped his head wearily into his hands.

"Oh, drat it all," the faun grumbled into his hands. "Everything is_ so_ confusing!"

"It is _not_," the Caterpillar contradicted, blowing out yet another ribbon-like wisp that formed into yet another knot.

"Well, it is to _us_," Alice complained.

The Caterpillar asked unconcernedly, "Why?" He puffed out the letter Y again, this time in the style of elegant calligraphy.

Terence, who'd taken a seat alongside Tumnus, began to stroke his thick white beard absently. "Well, we can't remember things as we used to, sir. It's like it's all been turned upside-down…"

Quite abruptly, the Caterpillar butted in. "Recite!" he commanded.

Terence and Tumnus both peered up at him at the exact same time. "Forgive me?" Terence said.

"Recite, sir?" Tumnus queried.

Alice, on the other hand, seemed to understand the Caterpillar's command perfectly, for she made a hasty curtsy before him and said, "Oh! Oh, yes, sir."

She cleared her throat.

"How doth the little busy bee improve each shining—"

"Stop!" the Caterpillar cut her off.

"What?" said Tumnus bewilderedly, quirking his ears.

"What's the matter?" wondered Terence.

"That is not spoken correcitically," said the Caterpillar, as he adjusted his position.

Alice just looked at him in puzzlement. Tumnus said, "Well, okay, then, how _does _it go?"

"Enlighten us," said Terence.

The Caterpillar did just so. "It goes…" He drew in another draft, and began to say, "How…" But hardly any smoke came out of his mouth. He paused, stared at his pipe incredulously, stole a quick peek into the opening, gave the whole thing a little shake. Then he realized that two of his multiple hands were holding the pipe the wrong way. They had bent the pipe in such a manner that the flow was cut off. The Caterpillar scowled, and immediately swatted at those hands with one of his front hands, causing them to release their grip at once.

Alice put a hand over her mouth to stifle a giggle. Even Terence and Tumnus couldn't help smirking.

"A-_hem!_" the Caterpillar grumbled at them. Instantly, all three were still, like pupils before a very strict teacher. When the Caterpillar was sure he'd secured their attention, he sucked in a long, deep breath, and blew an enormous pink cloud into the air, which, in seconds, took the shape of a large crocodile. "How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail," the Caterpillar narrated, "and pour the waters of the Nile on every golden scale." Tumnus, Terence, and Alice all watched with interest as the story magically unfolded before their eyes in the colorful smoke.

"How cheer—" the Caterpillar went on, but then he stopped, as he had felt a sudden jerk. He started again. "How cheer—" But he stopped yet again.

Apparently, his other end was having a difficult time maintaining balance.

Unimpressed, the Caterpillar forthwith reached out and snatched up his wildly flailing feet, setting them firmly back down.

This made Terence laugh aloud. When the Caterpillar glared at him, the young man immediately pretended to be in the middle of a coughing fit. He pounded himself in the chest, for good measure, and said meekly to his many-footed companion, "Sorry…something must have caught in my throat." He gave out one final cough. "Now, then…you were saying?"

The Caterpillar continued to shoot Terence dirty looks, but eventually he gave a terse nod, and went on with his recitation.

"How cheerfully he seems to grin," he elucidated, the smoke once more shaping the little moral, "how neatly spreads his claws…and welcomes little fishes in, with gently smiling jaws."

When he'd reached the end, Alice declared, "Well, I must say, I've never heard it _that_ way before."

"I know," the Caterpillar drawled. "I have im_proved_ it."

This time he ended up breathing into all three faces, and all three of them started choking and gagging.

Before the smoke had quite completely cleared away, Tumnus began hoarsely, "Well, if you ask us—"

"You?" the Caterpillar echoed. Once again, he demanded, in his loudest tone yet, "_Who—_are_—you?_"

But Terence, Tumnus, and Alice were all coughing too hard on all the smoke that had accumulated around them. Terence hid his face in the crook of his elbow to shield his eyes from the rancid fumes. Tumnus did likewise, only with his hands, while Alice gave a great sneeze that caused her to fall over backward. When they could breathe and see again, Terence wondered how in the world the Caterpillar could stand to breathe in this stuff constantly. Tumnus just narrowed his eyes at the Caterpillar in contempt, and snapped, "Oh, who needs you?"

To Alice and Terence, he said, "Come on, let's go!"

This time, Terence and Alice were all too happy to agree. They readily followed the faun back into the grass forest.

When the Caterpillar saw they were leaving, he rose up, and called out urgently after them, "You there! You, three—wait! Come back!"

Terence was the first to stop at his call.

When they all turned back, they could just barely hear the Caterpillar yelling, "_I have something important to say!_"

Terence merely looked at Tumnus, as did Alice, and Tumnus clapped a hand to his forehead and slowly dragged it down his unshaven face.

But he said resignedly, "Oh, _fine._ We're already sunk at our lowest, anyway. How can anyone do us any worse?"

And so the party switched directions. As they proceeded to head back, Tumnus murmured, half to himself, "I wonder what that Caterpillar could possibly want, this time."

They struggled through the thick tangles and meshes, unable to help grunting and groaning a little in frustration. What they wouldn't give to be back to their proper sizes again!

By the time they finally reached the Caterpillar, they found him sprawled flat on his back on the mushroom, practicing blowing smoke rings. They marched straight up to him, and Alice folded her arms in front of her, while Tumnus folded his hands primly behind his back and Terence rested his hands on his lean sides.

But the Caterpillar said nothing, at least not right away. At length Terence said to him, "Well, we're listening."

Eventually, the Caterpillar spoke but three words: "Keep—your—tempers."

"Is that all you have to say?" Tumnus demanded.

"No," the Caterpillar retorted, rolling himself head over heels.

After another brief time, he questioned them, "Exacitically, what _is _your problem?"

Tumnus answered, "Well, it's exacitici—" He paused, and struggled to form the word himself. "Exaciti…exacit…"

The faun stumbled over his tongue several times, before giving up and going for another synonym. "Well, it's precisely this. We should like to be a little, well, _taller_, sir."

"Why?" This time, the smoke emitted from the Caterpillar's lips in the shape of a question mark.

"Well, after all, _sir,_" said Tumnus, on the verge of really losing it, "three inches is such a wretched height, and—"

The Caterpillar, who up until now had always remained so calm and cool and controlled, appeared to take great offense to that remark.

"_I _am exacitically three inches high," he said irately, drawing himself up to his full height, his blue face flushing a notable red, "_and it is a very good height, indeed!_" With that, he began puffing furiously away at his pipe, so that his whole form was soon encased in a thick, swirling, sparkling, cocoon-like film, obscuring him completely.

"But we're not used to it!" Tumnus yelled back, just as hotly. "And you don't have to _SHOUT!_"

As soon as he screamed "shout", the miasma quite suddenly cleared away, and all that remained of the Caterpillar was a pile of blue skin, scattered gloves and slippers, and a faintly smoking hookah. Everyone gasped in shock at the sight, including Tumnus. "Oh, dear!" Alice whispered faintly.

But before they had the chance to totally panic, a voice called to them from above. "By the way, I have a few more helpful hints!" Startled, they simultaneously looked up to find the Caterpillar himself fluttering above them, this time in the form of a magnificent butterfly. As he proceeded to take flight, he called to the threesome, "One side will make you grow taller…"

"One side of what?" Alice called to him.

"…and the other side will make you grow shorter!"

"THE OTHER SIDE OF _WHAT?!?_" Tumnus all but shouted at the top of his voice.

Then the Caterpillar—or the Butterfly—was right in front of them in a flash. "_THE MUSHROOM, OF COURSE!_" he bellowed in their faces, startling them all into toppling over onto their backs.

And with that, he was off without another word. That was the last they ever saw of him.

Terence, Alice, and Tumnus lay side by side in the dirt, with Alice in the middle, staring up into the sky for a minute longer.

Then, one by one, they sat upright and examined the mushroom next to them. Each of them tentatively reached out and took two thick pieces of the mushroom, one piece from either side.

"Hmmm," Alice hummed contemplatively. "He said one side will make us grow—"

"But, which is which?" Terence questioned, looking from one piece to the other.

His friends were at as much of a loss as he was.

They all sat still together, and thought for a moment. "Well," said Terence slowly, "after all that's happened, I…I wonder if we…if we should…"

"Oh, who cares?" Tumnus blurted. "We'll wing it!" Without further ado, the faun resolutely sank his teeth into the mushroom wedge in his right hand.

Terence and Alice watched him, then followed his example and took a bite of the mushroom wedges within their right hands as well.

After swallowing, they waited a bit. Nothing happened.

"I really am very sick of being only three inches high—" Tumnus started to say. No sooner had he uttered the word "high", however, than they all suddenly found themselves shooting straight up—and up, and up, and _up, _faster than cornstalks on a hot summer day, until they shot right through the trees!

By the time they stopped, instead of three inches, they now found themselves well over three hundred feet high, high enough to see above the treetops and look around for miles.

"Oh, _no,_" Terence groaned, when it hit him, "now we're much too big!"

"From one extreme to the other," Tumnus muttered, gazing down at his hooves, which looked remarkably tiny from his perspective.

Meanwhile, a mother pigeon who had been brought up with Alice, nest and all, peered out over the edge to see what was going on. When she saw the enormous girl, accompanied by the even more enormous faun and white-haired man, she gave such a great start, and cried out in a tremendous fright, "Oh, my heavens! Serpents!"

She immediately launched into a flying frenzy, shrieking to high heaven, "_Hel-l-l-l-lp! _Help—serpents!_ Serpents!_"

"Oh, but please! _Please!_" Alice protested.

"Now, just a minute, ma'am—" Terence started, trying to sound conciliatory.

But the mother pigeon wasn't listening. "Off with you!" she ordered the giant threesome. "Shoo, shoo—go away!"

And she went on flitting from here to there, wailing, "Serpents! _Serpe-e-e-ents!_"

"But we are _not _serpents!" Tumnus interjected.

"No? Indeed?" This froze the mother pigeon in midair, and she turned to glare at them directly. "Then just what _are_ you?" she demanded, none too kindly.

"Why, I'm a faun," Tumnus informed her.

"And I'm a man," said Terence. "Well, half-man, actually…"

"And I'm just a little girl!" Alice concluded.

"_Ha_—little?" This seemed to amuse the mother pigeon the most. "_Little?!_" she exclaimed again, and she burst into gales of laughter.

"Well, I am!" said Alice stubbornly. Then, taking into consideration how much she'd grown within the last minute, she added with a slight blush, "I mean, I _was._"

"And, I suppose you don't eat eggs, either?" the mother pigeon jeered at them.

"Yes, we do," said Terence, without really thinking. "And they're quite lovely, especially with a dash of salt, and served scrambled on toast—"

This proved to be the wrong thing to say, for the mother pigeon shrilled furiously, "I knew it! I _knew _it!"

Once again, she circled their heads, screeching all the louder, "SERPENTS! _SERPE-E-E-E-ENTS!_"

Terence grimaced as she squawked in their ears; for such a tiny thing, she had an extraordinary pair of lungs.

"Oh, for goodness' sake, lady!" said Tumnus crossly.

This was really getting to be too much.

Then, they realized they were still holding onto their pieces of mushroom, which were no bigger than cowpeas in their hands.

It had been the right side that had made them grow bigger…so that meant the left side would…

"And the other side will make us grow shorter!" said Terence triumphantly.

"The very idea!" the mother pigeon fumed, as she proceeded in gathering her little bunch of eggs together, one by one. "Spend all my time laying eggs, for serpents like them—"

Neither Terence, Alice, nor Tumnus mentioned another word to her—just took a quiet nibble of the mushrooms in their left hands. Then, just as they'd expected, they forthwith started to shrink. The mother pigeon gave a terrified shriek as she felt herself fall with Alice, and she landed in her nest in the exact spot it had been before.

Hastily, she scrambled to catch her falling eggs, one by one, catching the last one with her foot.

By that time, Terence, Alice, and Tumnus had resumed their height of three inches. They found themselves sprawled out in the middle of a clutter of acorns and leaves that had fallen from overhead, with Alice on her back, and Terence and Tumnus on their fronts. "_Goodness!_" Alice breathed from her spot, really quite overcome from all the excitement.

"I wonder if we'll ever get the knack of it," said Terence, as he shifted to his knees.

Tumnus studied his mushrooms, weighing them in his hands like a set of scales. The three soon discovered that if they gave their right mushrooms a very brief lick with their tongues, they shot up just far enough to their proper heights. With a deep sigh of relief and satisfaction, a genuine smile on his face, Tumnus said, "There, now, _that's _more like it!"

"_Much_ better," Alice agreed wholeheartedly.

Terence looked thoughtfully at his little mushrooms, then very carefully tucked the pieces away in his pockets. "We'd better save these," he said. "They may come in useful later."


End file.
